Weekend of reminders and perspectives...

Sometimes in the adoption process you have highs and lows of times when it's all you think about and you're on fire for your cause.  You feel God all around you and you get everything done related to it in record time.  Then you go through periods where although your heart is 100% committed you feel so far from the track you were on before.  Paperwork gets pushed aside because you see no rush in it, you haven't seen your child's face yet and you know how slow things are moving and fundraising comes to a halt because let's face it, it's exhausting and humbling and although you know it has to be done you'd rather just take a break from posting on Facebook, your blog, and sending mass emails about yet another option to donate or buy something in support of your adoption.  Now add to the fact that this is not your first adoption, you start to become even more exhausted because you feel like you've been pleading the case of your unknown future child to everyone you know forever and they're all probably a little bit tired of hearing about it.  That is kind of where I have been in the last month, with news of our agency closing, our loss of money due to that closing, our updated paperwork that needs to be done and the new fees that need to be handed in with the new paperwork, it is just overwhelming and more so emotionally than physically. 

When I say paperwork I don't mean just a bunch of papers that I can fill out, get notarized and mail off, oh no, that would be cake.  I mean some papers that need to be taken to another person to have re-written on their time and signed and notarized by someone whose notary doesn't expire within 1 year, then some other papers that need to be signed, notarized and sent off to the state for certification and then upon return of said documents, placed with others to be sent off to another state to be authenticated and making sure a few of these documents are signed and dated lastly before sending off.  That is the adoption dossier paperwork, the papers that will be sent to Ethiopia eventually that show that we are an acceptable family to adopt one of their children.  Then there is more paperwork.  Because we are not independently wealthy and don't have $35,000 just hanging out in a bank account, we have lots of options for grants but that also requires more paperwork, some online applications followed by a small booklet of essay questions about our faith, reasoning for adoption and life story as well as all the financial information anyone would ever need to know about us.  This is a lot of work but it has to be done.

This weekend we hosted His Little Feet and got to be at 2 of their shows in which we watched a powerful video (not available on YouTube yet), heard children's testimonies, listened to their sweet voices sing of their love for God and His love for all of us, hear stories of lives changed by sponsorship and were blessed to be a host home for 2 of the HLF children.  After walking away from those concerts I had a new feeling of remembering why we are adopting and why we need to press on and not be overwhelmed by it all.  It is a lot of work, stress and is emotionally draining but is it harder than anything these children we are fighting for have went through?  I may be stressed with paperwork but I know I will not be hungry, I know I have a warm house, a family, a job, a car, get to go to church weekly and can pretty much get anything we need and not worry that we'll go without.  I am not a mom living in an impoverished country having to leave my small kids behind to find work that barely makes enough to feed them or make a decision to give my child up to ensure they will live.  I am not worried that if my children get sick I will have nowhere to take them to get help and I know they will be clothed and have a chance to go to school and get educated.  When I put all things into perspective my little stack of paperwork and "to-do's" is not all that bad and I should have no excuse for getting off track because things are not just perfectly falling into place. 

My focus is on the fact that somewhere in Ethiopia, there is a little girl who has lost her mom and dad, maybe to death, abandonment, illness or poverty, but lost to something.  She is scared and sad because her life is not what it was, her life as she knew it has been changed and she is living with people who are not likely her family.  She may be in an orphanage with 20 other kids, wearing communal clothes, going to bed with a blanket pulled over her head to try to feel security of some sort and wondering if she will ever get to be a part of a family again and who will they be, where will she go and is it up to her?  This breaks my heart and because I have gotten the chance to talk to my own son who was once in "her" position less than 2 years ago I have heard first-hand about how all of these things are realities of orphaned children.  After the His Little Feet concert he told me he wanted to help raise money for children and wanted to help children and asked how he could.  I explained many ways and when he picked up a Compassion sponsorship envelope with a 10 yr old boy from Peru and asked if we could sponsor him I said yes very quickly.  We already sponsor another little boy from Uganda through a different organization and Jalen picked him out a few years back before Fetinet came home so this child from Peru is going to be sponsored because Fetinet chose him.  I explained to him that sponsoring a child or helping a child is a good thing and even though it might only help just one, that "one" matters to which Fetinet replied "like me, I was one child who needed adopted", I held back tears and gave him a hug and said "yes, sweetheart, just like you!". 

If you are an adopting family, I hope this has helped in some way to encourage you to keep on and don't lose sight of why you are on this journey.  If you aren't adopting but know an adopting family, please encourage them and let them know you care about their cause, their adoption, their children because I will guarantee they don't get it enough and the littlest reminder can give them hope for a while.  We have recently been gifted sweet notes of encouragement, some with donations and some without, by friends and family and I can't say enough what that does in my heart.  My prayer of late is God do not let me forget this, give me the strength to keep pushing forward and keep our little girl's image in my mind at all times and not grow weary because of worldly stresses and other's opinions and keep my focus on you.  We are running a half marathon in 2 weeks and may we keep remembering what is on the back of our shirts as we run the race.  

2 Week's Worth of Prayers....What's been going on around here

Well, where do we even begin.  Ok, deep breath in, sit down because A LOT has been going on and as of today we feel that we have enough information that we can finally share the news as well as need your prayers more than ever!  Also I know this is long but please read it through because I know there will be a lot of questions and I want to answer them all but am so mentally exhausted right now and have been on the phone almost continuously since Feb 28^th, so I need to get it out on paper and let my mouth and brain rest.

So around Feb 1^st, we were a family in the process of adopting from Ethiopia through an agency called Adoption Advocates International (AAI).  An agency we felt great about because they had great reviews and a long history of good adoptions.  Every agency has their issues and that’s just a fact, just like our own DHS and foster system in the US is not always going to be right on top of things or always make the best decisions.  The fact is children need moms and dads but in order to attempt to be ethical about placing these children, a lot has to be done and many have to be paid.  Social workers, government agencies, case workers, anyone who is working must be paid and when you adopt out of country you also pay for the people who are caring for the children there.  Whether you adopt locally, from Africa, China, Haiti or anywhere there is never a guarantee.  The country may shut down, sadly the child you are adopting may pass away while you wait, the agency may shut down, the child’s situation may change and they may become unadoptable and many other complications may arise that are just plain and simply out of your control.  The thing of it is, this makes so many people turn away from adoption because of the unknowns, the money, and did I mention the unknowns?  Sadly, although we may be more comfortable sometimes and decide not to step out in faith, when it comes to saying yes to adoption, the children still wait if we back down.  Children, waiting, without a family, in an orphanage…BREAKS MY HEART and I will do whatever I can to help, even if it is helping one, that “one” matters and if we all could just help one there would be no more orphans!

Ok, so I digress a little…back to the news.  In the beginning of February we contacted our agency to see what our balance was so we would know exactly how much more we needed to send in for the next step.  That phone call basically ended in our family being faced with a heart-breaking decision of staying with Ethiopia after we had been told that it probably wouldn’t happen for us or switching to a more stable country within the agency, China.  I prayed and cried and prayed and cried and talked to the boys and a few friends and just felt awful but finally came to a conclusion. We were being told there was a need in China and kids waiting now and in their Ethiopia program, no kids waiting that would meet our approved parameters and likely wouldn’t be for a long time.  We decided that we started this process to be a family to a child in need and although our vision was that our child was in Ethiopia, we were kind of seeing doors close.  We didn’t even think we could adopt from China because of some of their requirements but we were being told we in fact could and we met those requirements.  So although we started preparing some papers, getting our homestay update ready, getting additional state background checks done and all the China needs in place, we never officially changed to China.  Our Ethiopian dossier still sat at AAI and our USCIS clearance was still for Ethiopia…the 2 big pieces to an international adoption.

On February 28^th, our hearts started to feel some pain.  We got word from another AAI family that our agency was closing their Ethiopian program due to financial issues.  Since there has been slowing in the country, many agencies are feeling the burdens but many are open and running just fine with a few cut backs in place where some are having to close due to it not bringing in enough money to pay the bills.  I will leave out all the details for now but just know many people were and still are in shock, as some are still just finding out this news. Over the weekend there were many conversations on our private Facebook groups over what was going on and my stomach was in knots because there was talk that the whole agency was in financial troubles and that it may mean closures for all the programs.  Being that it was the weekend there was no definite answers and no way to have any peace about anything.  Then last week came and every day I spoke to many people, people from AAI, people from other agencies, more families through AAI, our social worker, our home study facilitating agency and I’m sure others.  I found out that if AAI closed completely, there would be a backup agency to direct the China families to and I spoke to that agency.  I also called the agency we worked through for Fetinet’s adoption and another reputable agency and found out that to all other agency standards we would not be approved to adopt from China due to the one requirement we didn’t meet that we knew we didn’t meet all along.  Our agency still said we’d be fine but I just didn’t have a good feeling about it all.  I decided that I needed to call the agency that the Ethiopian families were being referred to and just see what was going on there and that night was the first night that I actually felt a full peace about this adoption since early February.  This agency worked with orphanages all over in Ethiopia and currently they didn’t have 100 families waiting and a few kids ready to be referred, they had kids waiting and needed families willing to accept children who may be 4 or 5 years old but also that would be willing to accept younger too.  That night and in the day following I found out more about this agency and the people that worked for it here and in Ethiopia and felt like we needed to switch.  I knew the status of AAI was questionable and what I was hearing was unsettling in my heart.  Although a few of the people I was working with closely were being as honest as I feel like they could be with me and I really appreciate their efforts, ultimately I knew and they understood, I had to be at peace with this adoption. 

So with that, we were now back to where we were, where our hearts had always been and where we prayed our daughter was all along.  Where Fetinet’s homeland country is and where Jalen was sure his sister was, he did not ever give up on his sister having brown skin and living in Ethiopia!  We were back to Ethiopia and really nothing had changed but we had to figure out how to get our paperwork and fees transferred.  We were told AAI would mail our dossier right back to us so that was not a problem but the fees, what would happen with the fees?  In my mind I thought, well we only paid the first program fee and really nothing had been done with our adoption yet, everything was on our end so surely it would just all transfer over right?  Nope.  I will say that last week when we found out there were financial issues at AAI we had the 2 checks sitting there from our fundraising (Chosen Marathon and Ordinary hero), cancelled and spoke to both places about it so they will be transferred.  But here’s the punch in the stomach, what we did pay out of our own money back in August 2013, that we had saved and saved for, $5,500…that would be GONE! Oh and then there’s one more thing we found out this past weekend, the whole agency is shutting down so not only are the families in the midst of adopting from Ethiopia but also from China, Thailand, Burkina Faso and maybe other places and they are all dealing with the same news, they are losing money and having to figure out how to complete their adoptions, many with children already referred to them and almost ready to come home…Please keep these families in your prayers.  We are in a sense, one of the “lucky” ones in the fact we are “only” losing $5,500 and we haven’t seen our child’s face, we aren’t getting ready to bring her home next month, but any way you cut it, it still hurts.  On the bright side, our new agency is doing all they can to help and is going to cut back one of their fees which we are EVER so grateful!  It may not cover the $5,500 but it is something and more than anything it means a lot to us.

So, what does it look like from here?  We will submit our dossier (once we get it back) to our new agency, we are updating some papers to reflect the new agency and once they have all of our paperwork and fees we will be a waiting family again!  I want you all to know that every penny that we have fundraised, we still have or has been paid to have our initial home study done.  I want to be transparent here because we have fundraised and have some more fundraisers coming up and so many of you have helped us get this far so I want to make sure you all know where that money is going.  As of Saturday night we were funded until the time of a referral but due to the recent closure of our agency and loss of money paid, we now have the money to complete the homestudy updates and cover some of the beginning fees with our new agency but we are $4,900 away from being where we were.  Once we have $4,900 saved/raised we will be funded until we receive a referral for our daughter.  At that point we will have our next set of fees and then travel but that will be a little while. 

Thank you for reading through all of this, I feel like we have had to be so vague to everyone and you all have been so supportive of us, I want you all to know exactly what is going on.  Today while I was having everything swirl around in my head one of my new favorite songs came on and I heard the words more clearly than ever before, these words spoke to me and pretty much wrap up my feelings of peace with all that is going on:

Who brings our chaos back into order
Who makes the orphan a son and daughter
The King of Glory, the King of Glory
Who rules the nations with truth and justice
Shines like the sun in all of its brilliance
The King of Glory, the King above all kings

-Phil Wickham - This Is Amazing Grace

Silent Auction for our Girl, come and shop March 1st!

We are pretty excited about our next fundraiser!  It's an online silent auction that will open on March 1st and will go until March 7th.  There will be a picture of each item and to make a bid you just comment under the picture with the amount you are bidding, highest bidder at the end of the auction (10pm CST) on March 7th, WINS!!!

There is some pretty cool stuff on there already but we are still taking donations and would love to showcase anything you may have made or want to donate.  All I need is a picture of the item sent ot me by Friday, Feb 28th, just leave me a message on here or find me on FB.

We have Thirty-One, Mary Kay, jewelry, gifts from other countries and an iPad mini to name a few things.  All starting bids are about half the price, or more than half, of the value of the item so there will be good deals and best of all, 100% will go to our adoption.

Since we have switched to special needs in China we currently have $3,000 to raise to update our home study and get all the needed documents to China to be available for a child who is waiting.

Here's a sneak peek at a few of the items to bid on.....

I will post the link to join the group here once it is open, so save your shopping for March 1st and shop for a cause :)

His Plans Are Not Our Own.

Well we have some pretty BIG NEWS to share and it is bittersweet for all of us but we are excited for this new journey and have to keep remembering that God creates amazing stories when you listen and open your heart to His direction.

So I'll just spill it and then give you the back story later because it really is quite an emotional and "only God" type of story and I know there will be a lot of questions so I'm hoping to explain them here.

WE'RE ADOPTING FROM CHINA!!!!!

As I type this I have to admit my heart is excited, nervous and broken.   Anyone that knows me knows how close Ethiopia and Africa are to my heart.  This has been this way for a long time but then when you have a child from another country, that country becomes even more part of your heart and your life.  Our son's father lives in Ethiopia, he has family there, he has friends there, his culture is there and we all can't wait to return to his homeland for a visit and to reunite with so many we miss.  We WILL still go back to Ethiopia, that is a promise, it might not be as soon as we expected but we will return but for now we are seeing that God has another place for us in the adoption world. 

First, I know many of you may want to know:  How does Fetinet feel about the change from Ethiopia to China?

This was a big part of our decision, we couldn't even really entertain the idea until we talked to him and to be honest I was nervous to start that conversation but to my surprise after explaining why, he understood and although he is excited to return to Ethiopia he also understands what is going on there and that there are kids all over that need moms and dads and so in his words "Sure, let's go to China!"  Jalen on the other hand was a little more upset, in his words "my sister is supposed to have brown skin like my brother (pouty, sad face)"  I pulled up pictures of children in China so he could see what his future sister may look like and we had a talk about the needs there and of course like anything with Jalen, all was fine in a couple minutes.

So although there are so many details to how we came to this change and I can't wait to share those, I will leave that for another post.  I want to answer the majority of the questions I think most will have, so here it goes.

Did Ethiopia shut down adoptions?  No they didn't.  There was talk about it and they definitely have slowed WAY down due to some changes in government decisions but there are still families waiting and brining kids home.  Every agency is different and has a different amount of "waiting children", families waiting and orphanages they work with.  I assure you, we didn't switch to China because we didn't want to wait.  There is a lot to the story but basically God showed us some doors were closing and others were opening at the same time and we followed.

Are you still adopting a girl and what age?  Yes, our parameters for a girl under 5 years old are still there.  Since Jalen is so excited to be a big brother finally, we are respecting his wishes on this BUT something is changing......we will be adopting a "special needs child" but in the category of a minor correctable special need (ex: cleft lip and/or palate).  In the adoption world you are given a long list of "special needs" checkboxes ranging from vision or hearing problems to cerebral palsy to physical irregularities to well, everything.  It is the HARDEST part of the process for me, having to look down a list and choose what I could accept or handle.  There are a lot of emotions when doing this from thinking as a physical therapist who has worked with all ranges of special needs children, I can handle it all to realizing, as a physical therapist I have a lot of student loans, I have to work full time, Jason has to work full time and how we just may not be the best family for many of those checkboxes.  BUT there are many on there that we have checked and many that we have recently had our eyes opened to and hearts softened for.  China is a special needs only adoption country unless you are adopting older than 8 or 9 years and thus long story short again, God has broken our hearts and opened the right doors and we are following. 

How long will it take?  How many trips?  Who all will go?  There's no guarantee on time as with any country or agency but once our dossier is submitted to China we can expect possibly 8-12 months before referral, although again it could be shorter too.  China is a 1 trip process and although only 1 parent has to go we will be trying our hardest to find a way to get us all there.  The boys are such a HUGE part of this adoption, they are excited about it, they pray about it, they plan out what life will be like once their sister is here and they really want to go.  Side note, if you ask Jalen, he will tell you his sister is 4, named Ellapi and will go to his school and he will be helping her at school :) 

Where are we at and what's the next step?  Because China is part of the Hague Convention we will have to resubmit our USCIS info and this time will be working on an I-800A instead of an I-600A, this little change in form numbers equates to a $720 fee (boo) but our fingerprints are still valid until Feb 2015 so we don't have to make another OKC trip for fingerprints at least (yay).  Also because of the Hague convention, our home study will be updated through our same social worker but through an agency that is Hague accredited.  There will be some fees associated with this as well but we'll figure it all out.  So we will be getting our home study updated, working on  China dossier and once submitted we will be a waiting family again. 

So we are asking for prayers to continue in this new journey as much will be new to us and as we still overcome the "loss" of what we planned.  Do I think we heard God wrong when we started the process to adopt from Ethiopia again?  NOPE not at all...we have seen so many times how God takes people down roads first because he knows that's how to get their attention.  I can promise you if earlier this year I was being told "adopt from China" I wouldn't have listened, maybe because I'm stubborn, likely because I wouldn't understand. In the last few months being in the process to adopt from Ethiopia has led me to so many stories and people and ultimately has opened my heart and mind to be able to say with confidence "this is where we are supposed to be".



Dossier is DONE!

Well after months of gathering the documents (and having to have some re-done), our dossier is complete!  It was mailed out today ad should arrive at our agency by Friday!  This is very exciting although we still have one more small step before it can go any further...what is that one small step you ask?

Oh just come up with about $2,900


This is a lot but when I look at the fact that in October that number was $5,500, it makes me feel a little bit better.  One way we have been able to raise money is through Ordinary Hero by tax-deductible donations made at http://grouprev.com/expectingfromethiopia

and only until FEBRUARY 1st, 2014 we can receive 40% of all sales made under our family name at the awesome Ordinary Hero store http://www.ordinaryherostore.org/ 

(just click on "oneal,joely" under affiliate)

Once we are fully funded for this step then ...

-The state sealed documents of our dossier will be sent to Washington DC to be authenticated by State Dept and Ethiopian Embassy

-Once all documents are returned to our agency they will be put into a final format and sent to the Ethiopian staff with our agency, at this point we can be officially able to be given a referral of a child (or children) in need of a family.

As I type this my heart is excited for that day to come and at the same time sad and broken because it also means there is a child or children out there that don't know the love of a family to call their own and to be honest, as excited as we will be, they will be scared.  I wished we could skip those steps and fast forward till the time where they can know they are safe and loved and in their forever family but the reality is we can't and those grieving steps are important for them, it's just such a mix of emotions when you're dealing with the course of a child's life.

PRAY for Ethiopia!!!!

Dec 26th started the process of my heart breaking for the children of Ethiopia and each day since it is becoming more real that what I thought was a rumor story, may be a reality.  If you haven't heard, this heart breaking news is that there are a lot of important people in Ethiopia wanting to close doors on international adoption.  The final step, from what I have heard, is the prime minister will have to agree in order for this to occur.  Yes, this is a punch in the gut for our family who is in the process of adopting and although I haven't seen her face, I know our daughter is in Ethiopia, I just do and so do our boys!  We haven't seen our daughter's face and if we had this would be a whole new level of heart breaking but there ARE families who have seen their child's face and have even met them but because of where they are in the paperwork process, their children could become stuck without a family and grow up in an orphanage in Ethiopia...Please PLEASE pray for this country, for the Prime Minister of Ethiopia, for these families, and most importantly for the children!!!! 

I am writing letters, sending FB messages, posting pictures and doing anything I can to help show the government how children can thrive, be happy and have success stories when being adopted internationally and I am asking you to do the same if you can.  You can email pasaddis@state.gov your success story, as well as can contact local and state representatives.

Here's the letter I emailed to the Ethiopian embassy tonight:

To Whom It May Concern in Regards to International Adoptions in Ethiopia:

My name is Joely O'Neal and I am married with 2 children, our 5 year old biological son and our 8 year old adopted Ethiopian son.  Our family has a heart for children who are growing up without mothers and fathers and feel that God has called us to take action and be a family to children who are without.  We do not adopt because we can't have kids on our own, we do not adopt to fulfill something we need but we adopt because we have been blessed by growing up in a family and want the same for all the children in this world.  My heart aches for children who don't know the true love of a mother or father, the children who are starving, in pain, sad and are growing up with a life no one would ever want for their own child.  I would hope that if something happened to myself, my husband or our family and we couldn't care for our child, that someone else would step up and take care of them the way we would, so why wouldn't I do the same for someone else?  I didn't know my older son's biological family before I met him but I knew he was given up out of love to be cared for as he was sick and malnourished.  I knew God called us to be the family to him that his biological father wanted.  We were blessed to be able to meet our son's father while in-country for court and were able to (via translator) speak to him, show him pictures and ask him questions so he would know where his son would be and know more about who his son's new family was. 

We have been beyond blessed that God brought a (then) 7 year old boy into our life. A child who had been waiting in the orphanages in southern Ethiopia and then in Addis for 2 years. This boy was shy, malnourished, embarrassed and in pain due to his teeth, had difficulty communicating since he had to learn a new language when moving to Addis, was not doing well in school and didn't show affection towards anyone. Today, almost 18 months later, our now 8 year old son is out-going, has a lot of friends, loves playing on his soccer team, is healthy and has gained 20 pounds and grown 5 inches, has a mouth full of healthy, pain-free teeth, talks non-stop, says please and thank you and knows right from wrong, is a rule-abider, giggles when he gets hugged and now hugs back. He also is very intelligent and has a heart for other orphaned children and is excited to have a sister from Ethiopia someday as well as is excited to go back to Ethiopia with us to visit his biological family and bring gifts to children who are there living without moms and dads.  We attend church regularly and he has grown to know who Jesus is and has accepted him as his savior earlier this year.  We celebrate our son's biological father on father's day, his late mother on mother's day and we talk about his siblings often. We look at pictures from Ethiopia, watch videos we took while there and he shares memories he has from his childhood.  We celebrate Genna and cook Ethiopian foods for him. We meet up with many of his friends from Ethiopia quite often and he knows we love Ethiopia and want him to always know where he came from. Our younger, biological son, loves his big brother and anticipates a younger sister from Ethiopia and cannot wait to travel there to meet her and see where his big brother came from. We are a blessed family and we have more room in our home and more love in our hearts to give and are praying that Ethiopia will allow us to once again give a child or children a forever family, hope, love and a life that embraces their country and it's culture.

We understand that not every adoption story turns out the way ours has and our family is not perfect, like any new situation there was adjustments, ups and downs and mixed emotions but was it worth it all?  Absolutely!  We also know that it is everyone's responsibility to make sure practices are done ethically and in the best interest of the children and we are thankful for any laws to occur to protect these children as much as possible.  With that said we are praying that it is known that completely shutting down the ability to allow international adoptions to occur, decreases the number of chances some of these children will ever have to survive an illness they have, to have a mom and dad and to grow up knowing the love of a family and thrive in this world.  It is my goal to raise my children to grow up  loving Jesus and become loving individuals who live to bless others and be world changers. 

 

In closing, please know we are praying for these decisions, praying for the children who are waiting and have been waiting, praying for the children who need medicine that may not be available there, medical treatment that may not be available there right now, praying for the people who have had to relinquish their children out of love who are praying for a family to come in and care for their child when they couldn't and of course we always are praying for these situations to not even exist, for food and clean water to be abundant, for shelter and clothing to be available and for all children to feel loved.  We (as Americans) know and appreciate that we are plan C...we are here to help and to be a family to children in need but we are thankful for processes to be in place to make sure these children can't be cared for by other family members or other Ethiopians before allowing us to be there. 

 

With Love and Concern,

Joely O'Neal

Ada, Oklahoma, USA

Ready to Submit our Dossier!!!!!

We are moving right along in this next adoption (3-4 mths ahead of our last adoption timeline) and are praying daily that God will guide every step and open all the doors needed. With the holidays it seems like the paperwork and fund-raising has been put on the back burner although it is on my mind daily and honesty, hourly. We don't know who she is yet or if there are 1 or 2 girls that God has in mind for our family but we are just doing the steps we can do to be available for the child or children that need a home and a family and the rest is in His timing. We have our dossier basically finished with 2 small things left to do and it can be sent off but I guess I have been putting it off because until we have the next fee to submit, there really is no rush on getting it turned in. 

 

As it stands right now we need $3,308 more to go before we can submit our dossier and we have 2 great fundraisers going on right now but I have been slacking on getting the word out about them so I guess better late than never :) 

 

Through an amazing organization called Ordinary Hero (OH), people are able to make donations to them on behalf of our family and they are TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!!  This will last beyond the end of this year but with Jan 1st being 6 DAYS AWAY, I wanted to make sure I got it out there in case someone is praying about the perfect place to make their "end of the year" donation.  There is a small percentage taken out of the overall donation to go to OH but they do such wonderful things all over the world and need all the help they can get to keep doing what they do. 

 

To make a tax deductible donation on behalf of our adoption you can go here:  http://grouprev.com/expectingfromethiopia

Also through OH, we are an affiliate adopting family which means we can sell their t-shirts, hats, ornaments, travel mugs, etc and get 40% of the proceeds. This also is AMAZING because most organizations and opportunities to sell items only allow for 20% or less so 40% is HUGE! The money gets sent right to our agency every month in our name. Many have asked if we were selling t-shirts soon and have even requested shirts but right now we really have a lot on our plates and instead of making our own shirts again, we are just going to be selling Ordinary Hero's.  They really are great quality, cute prints and are good for anyone, adopting or not....do you know anyone you would consider to be a hero to you or someone else?  Or anyone making a difference in this world for any reason?  If so they make the perfect gifts, teachers, pastors, babysitters, family, friends, or of course other adopting families.  

 

To check out the OH store go here:  http://www.ordinaryherostore.org/  when you check out click on "o'neal, joely" as the affiliate name to make sure it goes to our adoption.

 

 

Our time-frame at this time is looking like this:

May 2013:  announced our adoption

Sept 2013:   home-study visits completed

Oct  2013:   officially approved to adopt through Adoption Advocates International (AAI)

Nov 2013:   USCIS fingerprints done

Nov 2013:   USCIS approval to adopt a child 0-5 yrs old

 

The Next Steps:  Save/raise $3,308 to send our dossier to our agency, then we wait for "the call" saying they have a daughter or daughters for us.

 

I'm not gonna lie, I am already anxious for that day, the day we see the face of our daughter!  Even just saying those words "our daughter", makes me so anxious in such a wonderful way.  Although only God knows how long this wait will be, because our we are able to adopt older and because our agency doesn't have an extreme number of families waiting, likely the wait will not be as long as some experience, 5 families accepted referrals last month alone and 7 families cleared embassy to bring their children home!

 

In closing Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

 

 

 

 

We are a WAITING family again!

So it has been 5 months since we announced we are adopting again and so much has happened since May! 

 

We are so excited to say that we are OFFICIALLY a waiting family with Adoption Advocates International and we are the 11th family in line working on the "paper chase" aka: dossier, to be available to accept a little girl (or girls) into our family.

Every agency is different in how the timeline works out so for some of you reading this, being 11th in line may seem crazy quick to just be starting out and think that must mean we'll be getting our referral very soon and some of you may think 11th in line equates to a LONG wait and truthfully, both may be right.  We are thankful that the agency we are working with believes in matching the child based on best family match but also considering the "order" of families waiting.  So we may truly be the 11th family to get a referral or there may be a child who matches our criteria and no one else and we may be next in line.  You just never know but we are confident that God knows what our family picture is supposed to look like and in His time we will know as well. 

So since May, we completed applications, had our home study and follow up visit completed and started filling a new large PINK binder with all of the forms and information needed for this adoption.  This summer we also were able to complete Fetinet's adoption by finalizing his adoption and getting his US birth certificate so that large binder has been filled to the max and now we can focus on this next one {deep breath....sigh}. 

Our boys are so excited to become big brothers and Jalen has already given his sister a name "Ellapy", knows what she looks like (brown skin, but with yellow hair and green eyes like me apparently) and has bought her a Barbie and made her a pile of things he wants to give her in "her room" which is our spare room/office right now.  He prays for her and likes to draw pictures for her and my heart already melts just thinking about the day he and the rest of us get to meet her. 

 

So now back on the fundraising train (oh man it felt so good to be off of it for the last 15 months) and our first fundraiser is such an AMAZING opportunity! 

We are running the half marathon in the Chosen Marathon for Adoption in New Braunfels, TX on Oct 26th and have the chance to raise money for our adoption that is tax deductible to those who donate!  Our next financial hurdle is $5,290 and we are praying in the next 3 weeks we will reach this goal.  We know it is a large amount and we are doing everything we can to make some cut-backs and save but we know even still, we can't do it on our own. 


We are asking for help in partnering with us on this journey, making sure there are 1 or 2 less children in this world who will grow up not knowing what the love of a family is.  You can read more about our family and this race here:  O'Neal Family Adoption (part 2).  Also if you would like to come to the race or run on our team please leave me a message or contact me, we'd love to se you!

We are so thankful for the support we have from so many friends, family and even strangers and consider ourselves blessed to be able to be an adopting family!

You Can Call Us Crazy

Oh where to begin…well, this last year has been a whirlwind.  We traveled to Africa 2 times and brought home our son Fetinet, we went from a family of 3 to 4 and all of our lives were turned upside down and we have all been blessed beyond belief.  From our first announcement of our adoption on Mother’s Day 2010 (http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2010/05/exciting-news.html), 3 years has past and we have met some pretty amazing people along the way.  Most of which are connected to our adoption story in one way or another.  People we had never known who donated to our adoption or be-friended us are now some of our closest friends and some of them we call family.  

We also have a host of new friends that we will forever know because our children all lived together in Ethiopia and have a very special bond.  As parents to these children we have bonded and have been a huge support system for each other.  You can literally almost link each and every one of us by who called who crying when they first brought their child home and realized the reality of what our new life was, and it wasn’t the happiest of tears either  J  And now we can all look back and smile and laugh about what those first days, weeks, months were like and give wisdom to the newer moms entering the crazy world of adoption (specifically older child Ethiopian adoption). 

Our outlook on life and what our priorities are has been forever changed and through that we have surrendered some things we used to have as priority.  We have seen the need that exists and the devastation that lies in a country far from us and have realized how blessed we are here in America.  Even in the times of being paycheck to paycheck and thinking our lives are stressed beyond belief, we will forever have images imprinted in our head of what it is to be truly hungry, lonely, without shoes or proper clothes and how much just a little bit can change a life.  What we spend on a drive thru meal is what someone else makes in a day or even 1 week’s, worth of work!

Something else we have realized is that, 1.) there are just too many boys in our family right now and 2.) that we have an extra bedroom in our house that only gets used when we have guests in from out of town.  A bedroom that could be filled with another set of little feet or maybe a couple little sets of feet.  And although in our culture to have 3-4 kids in 2 rooms may be seen as not ideal, it is pretty darn ideal in most others.  Sooo, what we are saying is we have another announcement, exactly 3 years later with the same news….WE ARE ADOPTING (again)!!!!  Before you hear it from our boys we figured we needed to get the news out.  They are very excited and ask us quite often about their “sister” (and have requested that she be a “little” sister so they can both be big brothers), when will she be here, how old will she be, when will we go back to Ethiopia, etc.  Unfortunately we can’t answer any of these questions just yet and anticipate that it will be another 2 years before we can.   We can tell you that we did have to check some boxes on our application and they were:   girl, ages 0-5 yrs old, single child, twins or siblings.

You may think we’re crazy and yes we probably are.  Didn’t we just finish the long waits, the emotions, the saving/fundraising/applying for grants, etc?  Wasn’t that stressful enough?  Aren’t we still adjusting to a life with a child only home for 10 mths?  Didn’t we complete our act of doing something good and adopting one child?  Yes that latter sounds pretty unreal to think but I’ve heard it before and I know many do think that way, seriously they do!  But yes, adoption is not for the weak at heart or mind, it is a crazy rollercoaster and full of unknowns and so I guess you can only call us crazy for the fact that we are ready to do it again. 

So with this I have a big favor to ask of anyone reading this.  Will you pray for us?  Pray that we are listening and following what God is leading us to do.  Pray that we have peace in the details of it all and can remember that His plan is not our plan and that His plan is always better. 

One Year Ago Today

I cannot even express how much our lives have changed in exactly 1 year.  Exactly 1 year ago I sat here in bed typing up our announcement with a heavy and emotional heart.  Our announcement that there was a boy in Ethiopia who we had chosen as our son!  You can read this announcement here:  http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2012/02/its-boy.html

the first picture of our Fetinet

Although I say we "chose" him, we know God had him handpicked for us.  There were 3 children on the list, 1 girl who was already matched with a family and 2 boys around the same age and through a chain of events and a story behind it all it was to be that our child was the 2nd one on the list, the 6-8 yr old boy who we could only see half of his face because he had most of it covered by his hand.  The first pictures we really got to see of our son melted our hearts and I carried them around everywhere, praying for him, us, the adoption process, everything!

We knew there were so many steps from there on out, so much more money to be raised, paperwork to be done, planning to do, a room to be re-done, craziness all around but we were ready and had no idea what was to come...only weeks later we had a court date and on April 18th he was legally our son.  July 1st he came home for good and we endured a lot of ups and downs in those first few months.  All of a sudden we woke up one day and our shy, non-English speaking, non-affectionate, little boy was talking our ears off, singing, dancing, reading, hugging and kissing us and we finally felt established as a family of 4.  I can't even begin to describe how much this boy's life has changed as well as ours, I could write a book about each day he has been home with us, each trial and tribulation and each accomplishment and celebration.  Going from parenting your biological son of 3.5 years to parenting your new son who has been on this Earth for 7 .5 years and in your home for a matter of days is VERY different!  Not only did we go from parenting a toddler to a school aged child, but parenting a child who had been through and seen more than most adults have, a child who had grieved over many losses that most people, let alone children, never have to and parenting a child from a totally different culture.  BUT we did it, we got through it and so did he and I will give God all the glory on that one because I will just say as strong as I am, I have never felt weaker and more scared in my life and I know our boy was probably feeling the exact same way.  

Now not only is today a special day for us, but it just so happened that when we were reading through our documents on Feb 27, 2012, we saw his birth date....February 28th!  I remember being sad that my son would be turning another year older tomorrow and I couldn't give him a party, a gift, a hug, or even tell someone to tell him that he had a mommy and daddy who would be coming to get him soon!  Now 1 year later, this boy knows he has a mommy, daddy and brother who love him so much and as I tucked this boy into his bed and hugged and kissed him, I got to see his excitement when I told him that when he wakes up tomorrow he would no longer be 7 and would now be 8 years old!  He got to have a birthday party last weekend and tomorrow he will get to open a few more gifts and cards and will be taking cake balls to school to share his birthday with his friends.  It is just so amazing to think back to just 1 year ago!


Fetinet celebrating turning 8 at Great Wolf Lodge!!!  Happy Birthday big boy!

And The Winners Are.....

Thank you to everyone who helped us in raising the funds for the Deason family.  Whether you have been praying for them, bought tickets, or helped spread the word, they have been truly blessed by you all!  We needed to raise $2,500 for them to get them to Ghana next month to meet their little boy and have their court date and did we do it?????????

No, we didn't...we raised $2,720!!!!!  God knew the amount this family really needed and that is what was provided because they just had to spend $200 on their visas so they now still have that $2,500 to go towards getting to Ghana!

You can read all about this sweet family and where they are in their journey at the Deason Family Blog.

And now for the winners..........
all entries were entered into Excel and numbers assigned...there were 346 entries and 13 prizes to be won.  Then all numbers were entered into Random.org and going down the list in order we got the winners.....see below each picture to find out who won.

5th Generation iPod Touch 32 GB in lime green!!!! Given to the fundraiser by a very sweet anonymous donor. ($299 value)  Ilena Varner

Kindle Fire HD 16 GB ($199 value)  Charity Teal


2 OKC Thunder vs Dallas Mavericks tickets for Feb. 4th (over $180 Value) The Denson Family

Cuisinart Pure Indulgence™ 2 Qt. Frozen Yogurt-Sorbet & Ice Cream Maker ($90 value). Kami Weems


Thirty-One Making Memories Thermal (14.25"H x 13.75"W x 15"D) Collapsible telescoping handle, wheels for easy transportation in Minty Chip and Jersey Blankey in Oatmeal (60"L x 55"W). ($189 value)  Courtney Folsom


Handmade Rag Rug by Leanne to place in front of your kitchen sink and keep your feet very comfy. Kirsten Priest


2 kids size large adoption t-shirts ($30 value) Tiffany Anderson


Uganda package (1 necklace, 1 scarf and 1 bracelet) ($40 value)  Julia Leinen


2, ITWorks Body Wraps ($60 value)  Corie Perry


Jack Black, 6 grooming essentials/travel dopp kit ($65 value)  Shannon Rowe


Baby Gift Set, book, burp cloth, bath and body skin care ($78 Value)  Mandy Waters


2 handmade scarves ($30 value)  Ashley Barrett


3 handmade necklaces ($60 value)  Megan Hackbarth

Fundraising for a Friend...let's bring home their boy!

Well, it has been a LONG time since I have update this blog and I live in guilt daily about it so I promise to get an update over the past 6 mths on here VERY soon, but....for now I have an even better post because it is one that is to help close friends of ours, get to Ghana to meet their son and get closer to bringing him home.   I know when we were adopting, although I was excited about each fundraiser, it was also stressful and humbling because really who wants to constantly do fundraisers for your own benefit?  Deep down I knew it wasn't for us but for a child waiting to be in our family but still it didn't make it easier or less stressful.   Looking back on how our story unfolded I am thankful for each fundraiser and big or small, God used so many people to eventually add up to over $30,000 and allow our Fetinet to come home.  SO, I want to put this one on for our friends who are very close to needing to book their flights to Ghana and need about $2,500 more to go to get there

Read all about this sweet family and where they are in their journey at the Deason Family Blog.

We are doing an online raffle and have a few items so far and are looking for some more.  If you would like to donate something for this, please leave me a message on this post, every little bit helps and will be much appreciated!

So here's how it all works....

*You can buy raffle tickets for $10 each or discounted for multiple tickets:

3 tickets = $25

6 tickets = $50
9 tickets = $75

 12 tickets = $100

   ....and so on.....

 

*We will give each buyer a number for their ticket and at the end we will place all numbers into Random.org to pick the winners.  Yes their will be multiple winners because each prize will have its own recipient. 

 

*Tickets can be purchased through Januray 25th at midnight and the winner will be announced on January 26th

* If you have purchased at least ONE ticket, you can also get additional tickets by helping us get the word out.  You can do this by Facebook, Twitter or post about it on your own blog and then post a message here to let us know that you did and we'll get you your numbers.

*Tickets can be purchased via PayPal and you may use the donate button on their family's blog hisdefender.blogspot.com. 

and now for the prizes.......

5th Generation iPod Touch 32 GB in lime green!!!!   Given to the fundraiser by a very sweet anonymous donor.  ($299 value)

Kindle Fire HD 16 GB ($199 value)


2 OKC Thunder vs Dallas Mavericks tickets for Feb. 4th (over $180 Value)

Cuisinart Pure Indulgence™ 2 Qt. Frozen Yogurt-Sorbet & Ice Cream Maker ($90 value).


Thirty-One Making Memories Thermal (14.25"H x 13.75"W x 15"D) Collapsible telescoping handle, wheels for easy transportation in Minty Chip and Jersey Blankey in Oatmeal (60"L x 55"W). ($189 value)


Handmade Rag Rug by Leanne to place in front of your kitchen sink and keep your feet very comfy.


2 kids size large adoption t-shirts ($30 value)


Uganda package (1 necklace, 1 scarf and 1 bracelet) ($40 value)


2, ITWorks Body Wraps ($60 value)


Jack Black, 6 grooming essentials/travel dopp kit ($65 value)


Baby Gift Set, book, burp cloth, bath and body skin care ($78 Value)


2 handmade scarves ($30 value)


3 handmade necklaces ($60 value)