tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63451885368103128732024-03-13T09:34:44.205-05:00Expecting From EthiopiaThe O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.comBlogger105125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-15004444865256810352014-04-14T23:13:00.000-05:002014-04-14T23:49:38.870-05:00Weekend of reminders and perspectives...<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes in the adoption process you have highs and lows of times
when it's all you think about and you're on fire for your cause. You feel
God all around you and you get everything done related to it in record
time. Then you go through periods where although your heart is 100%
committed you feel so far from the track you were on before. Paperwork
gets pushed aside because you see no rush in it, you haven't seen your child's
face yet and you know how slow things are moving and fundraising comes to a
halt because let's face it, it's exhausting and humbling and although you know
it has to be done you'd rather just take a break from posting on Facebook, your
blog, and sending mass emails about yet another option to donate or buy
something in support of your adoption. Now add to the fact that this is
not your first adoption, you start to become even more exhausted because you
feel like you've been pleading the case of your unknown future child to
everyone you know forever and they're all probably a little bit tired of
hearing about it. That is kind of where I have been in the last month,
with news of our agency closing, our loss of money due to that closing, our
updated paperwork that needs to be done and the new fees that need to be handed
in with the new paperwork, it is just overwhelming and more so emotionally than
physically. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I say paperwork I don't mean just a bunch of papers that I
can fill out, get notarized and mail off, oh no, that would be cake. I
mean some papers that need to be taken to another person to have
re-written on their time and signed and notarized by someone whose notary
doesn't expire within 1 year, then some other papers that need to be signed,
notarized and sent off to the state for certification and then upon return of
said documents, placed with others to be sent off to another state to
be authenticated and making sure a few of these documents are signed and dated lastly before
sending off. That is the adoption dossier paperwork, the papers that will
be sent to Ethiopia eventually that show that we are an acceptable family to
adopt one of their children. Then there is more paperwork. Because
we are not independently wealthy and don't have $35,000 just hanging out in a
bank account, we have lots of options for grants but that also requires more
paperwork, some online applications followed by a small booklet of essay
questions about our faith, reasoning for adoption and life story as well as all
the financial information anyone would ever need to know about us. This
is a lot of work but it has to be done.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHxe4y1MWf1JTvq1ql8unBx9BXFKTd_utLtjW6OrYIxlIFbk7nePvAlnv43txII91gjZPhhyXyoL4BIMGJtiaV6k31J7xGVM9DfBdDmjTknt-tPtzDHdJg8srBBIabN7dTZLG5OhEbGVw/s1600/DSC_0580.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHxe4y1MWf1JTvq1ql8unBx9BXFKTd_utLtjW6OrYIxlIFbk7nePvAlnv43txII91gjZPhhyXyoL4BIMGJtiaV6k31J7xGVM9DfBdDmjTknt-tPtzDHdJg8srBBIabN7dTZLG5OhEbGVw/s1600/DSC_0580.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzktZA9Qhrboo0bitnmqO9TzBRJgPcuPapw2_rtiseX-QwMLHlCWTVYk0M5vs0E4GBnZp3naB13HvtV_pk7T36-dpXG89kUN2vpSp1HfOfoRCFH5V0uw2dSjhQ8u_JOEa_Zuc4XGzMqE/s1600/DSC_0563.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzktZA9Qhrboo0bitnmqO9TzBRJgPcuPapw2_rtiseX-QwMLHlCWTVYk0M5vs0E4GBnZp3naB13HvtV_pk7T36-dpXG89kUN2vpSp1HfOfoRCFH5V0uw2dSjhQ8u_JOEa_Zuc4XGzMqE/s1600/DSC_0563.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></span></a><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This weekend we hosted His Little Feet and got to be at 2 of their
shows in which we watched a powerful video (not available on YouTube yet),
heard children's testimonies, listened to their sweet voices sing of their love
for God and His love for all of us, hear stories of lives changed by
sponsorship and were blessed to be a host home for 2 of the
HLF children. After walking away from those concerts I had a new
feeling of remembering why we are adopting and why we need to press on and not
be overwhelmed by it all. It is a lot of work, stress and is emotionally
draining but is it harder than anything these children we are fighting for have
went through? I may be stressed with paperwork but I know I will not be
hungry, I know I have a warm house, a family, a job, a car, get to go to church
weekly and can pretty much get anything we need and not worry that we'll go
without. I am not a mom living in an impoverished country having to leave
my small kids behind to find work that barely makes enough to feed them or
make a decision to give my child up to ensure they will live. I am
not worried that if my children get sick I will have nowhere to take them
to get help and I know they will be clothed and have a chance to go to school
and get educated. When I put all things into perspective my little stack
of paperwork and "to-do's" is not all that bad and I should have no
excuse for getting off track because things are not just perfectly falling into
place. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My focus is on the fact that somewhere in Ethiopia, there is a
little girl who has lost her mom and dad, maybe to death, abandonment, illness
or poverty, but lost to something. She is scared and sad because her life
is not what it was, her life as she knew it has been changed and she is living
with people who are not likely her family. She may be in an
orphanage with 20 other kids, wearing communal clothes, going to bed with a
blanket pulled over her head to try to feel security of some sort and wondering
if she will ever get to be a part of a family again and who will they be, where
will she go and is it up to her? This breaks my heart and because I
have gotten the chance to talk to my own son who was once in "her"
position less than 2 years ago I have heard first-hand about how all of these things
are realities of orphaned children. After the His Little Feet concert he
told me he wanted to help raise money for children and wanted to help children
and asked how he could. I explained many ways and when he picked up a
Compassion sponsorship envelope with a 10 yr old boy from Peru and asked if we
could sponsor him I said yes very quickly. We already sponsor another
little boy from Uganda through a different organization and Jalen picked him
out a few years back before Fetinet came home so this child from Peru
is going to be sponsored because Fetinet chose him. I explained to him
that sponsoring a child or helping a child is a good thing and even though it
might only help just one, that "one" matters to which Fetinet replied
"like me, I was one child who needed adopted", I held back tears and
gave him a hug and said "yes, sweetheart, just like you!". </span><br />
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</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UgajuHBKL55F08vLFG3Li8ivGym_rT9d4Hoi5XqwM-OkOZXiwWO95Aqe5AxRGM_eskQOGE_sX5P90AsH-ZqYNG5Wxn7WVDf4-FjVV2LPs7Mp_L3wl0RR9PQ1b_Adwd75p9zhSp1BPPs/s1600/23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UgajuHBKL55F08vLFG3Li8ivGym_rT9d4Hoi5XqwM-OkOZXiwWO95Aqe5AxRGM_eskQOGE_sX5P90AsH-ZqYNG5Wxn7WVDf4-FjVV2LPs7Mp_L3wl0RR9PQ1b_Adwd75p9zhSp1BPPs/s1600/23.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></span></a><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you are an adopting family, I hope this has helped in some way
to encourage you to keep on and don't lose sight of why you are on this journey.
If you aren't adopting but know an adopting family, please encourage them and
let them know you care about their cause, their adoption, their children
because I will guarantee they don't get it enough and the littlest reminder can
give them hope for a while. We have recently been gifted sweet notes of
encouragement, some with donations and some without, by friends and family and
I can't say enough what that does in my heart. My prayer of late is God
do not let me forget this, give me the strength to keep pushing forward
and keep our little girl's image in my mind at all times and not grow weary
because of worldly stresses and other's opinions and keep my focus on
you. We are running a half marathon in 2 weeks and may we keep remembering what is on the back of our shirts as we run the race. </span><br />
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The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-27847220184923664892014-03-10T21:26:00.000-05:002014-03-10T22:13:52.494-05:002 Week's Worth of Prayers....What's been going on around here<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Well, where do we even begin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ok, deep breath in, sit down because A LOT
has been going on and as of today we feel that we have enough information that
we can finally share the news as well as need your prayers more than ever!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also I know this is long but please read it
through because I know there will be a lot of questions and I want to answer
them all but am so mentally exhausted right now and have been on the phone
almost continuously since Feb 28<sup>th</sup>, so I need to get it out on paper
and let my mouth and brain rest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">So around Feb 1<sup>st</sup>, we were a family in the
process of adopting from Ethiopia through an agency called Adoption Advocates
International (AAI).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An agency we felt
great about because they had great reviews and a long history of good
adoptions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every agency has their issues
and that’s just a fact, just like our own DHS and foster system in the US is
not always going to be right on top of things or always make the best
decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact is children need
moms and dads but in order to attempt to be ethical about placing these
children, a lot has to be done and many have to be paid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Social workers, government agencies, case
workers, anyone who is working must be paid and when you adopt out of country
you also pay for the people who are caring for the children there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether you adopt locally, from Africa,
China, Haiti or anywhere there is never a guarantee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The country may shut down, sadly the child
you are adopting may pass away while you wait, the agency may shut down, the
child’s situation may change and they may become unadoptable and many other
complications may arise that are just plain and simply out of your
control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing of it is, this makes
so many people turn away from adoption because of the unknowns, the money, and
did I mention the unknowns?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly,
although we may be more comfortable sometimes and decide not to step out in
faith, when it comes to saying yes to adoption, the children still wait if we back down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children, waiting, without a family, in an orphanage…BREAKS
MY HEART and I will do whatever I can to help, even if it is helping one, that “one”
matters and if we all could just help one there would be no more orphans! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Ok, so I digress a little…back to the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the beginning of February we contacted our
agency to see what our balance was so we would know exactly how much more we
needed to send in for the next step.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That phone call basically ended in our family being faced with a
heart-breaking decision of staying with Ethiopia after we had been told that it
probably wouldn’t happen for us or switching to a more stable country within
the agency, China.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prayed and cried
and prayed and cried and talked to the boys and a few friends and just felt
awful but finally came to a conclusion. We were being told there was a need in
China and kids waiting now and in their Ethiopia program, no kids waiting that
would meet our approved parameters and likely wouldn’t be for a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We decided that we started this process to be
a family to a child in need and although our vision was that our child was in
Ethiopia, we were kind of seeing doors close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We didn’t even think we could adopt from China because of some of their
requirements but we were being told we in fact could and we met those
requirements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So although we started
preparing some papers, getting our homestay update ready, getting additional state
background checks done and all the China needs in place, we never officially
changed to China.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Ethiopian dossier
still sat at AAI and our USCIS clearance was still for Ethiopia…the 2 big pieces
to an international adoption.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">On February 28<sup>th</sup>, our hearts started to feel some
pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got word from another AAI
family that our agency was closing their Ethiopian program due to financial
issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since there has been slowing in
the country, many agencies are feeling the burdens but many are open and
running just fine with a few cut backs in place where some are having to close
due to it not bringing in enough money to pay the bills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will leave out all the details for now but
just know many people were and still are in shock, as some are still just
finding out this news. Over the weekend there were many conversations on our
private Facebook groups over what was going on and my stomach was in knots
because there was talk that the whole agency was in financial troubles and that
it may mean closures for all the programs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Being that it was the weekend there was no definite answers and no way
to have any peace about anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
last week came and every day I spoke to many people, people from AAI, people from
other agencies, more families through AAI, our social worker, our home study
facilitating agency and I’m sure others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I found out that if AAI closed completely, there would be a backup
agency to direct the China families to and I spoke to that agency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also called the agency we worked through
for Fetinet’s adoption and another reputable agency and found out that to all
other agency standards we would not be approved to adopt from China due to the
one requirement we didn’t meet that we knew we didn’t meet all along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our agency still said we’d be fine but I just
didn’t have a good feeling about it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I decided that I needed to call the agency that the Ethiopian families
were being referred to and just see what was going on there and that night was
the first night that I actually felt a full peace about this adoption since
early February.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This agency worked with
orphanages all over in Ethiopia and currently they didn’t have 100 families
waiting and a few kids ready to be referred, they had kids waiting and needed
families willing to accept children who may be 4 or 5 years old but also that
would be willing to accept younger too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
night and in the day following I found out more about this agency and the
people that worked for it here and in Ethiopia and felt like we needed to
switch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew the status of AAI was questionable
and what I was hearing was unsettling in my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although a few of the people I was working
with closely were being as honest as I feel like they could be with me and I
really appreciate their efforts, ultimately I knew and they understood, I had
to be at peace with this adoption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">So with that, we were now back to where we were, where our
hearts had always been and where we prayed our daughter was all along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where Fetinet’s homeland country is and where
Jalen was sure his sister was, he did not ever give up on his sister having
brown skin and living in Ethiopia!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
were back to Ethiopia and really nothing had changed but we had to figure out
how to get our paperwork and fees transferred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were told AAI would mail our dossier right back to us so that was not
a problem but the fees, what would happen with the fees?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my mind I thought, well we only paid the first
program fee and really nothing had been done with our adoption yet, everything
was on our end so surely it would just all transfer over right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will say that last week when we found out there were financial issues at
AAI we had the 2 checks sitting there from our fundraising (Chosen Marathon and
Ordinary hero), cancelled and spoke to both places about it so they will be
transferred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But here’s the punch in the
stomach, what we did pay out of our own money back in August 2013, that we had
saved and saved for, $5,500…that would be GONE! Oh and then there’s one more
thing we found out this past weekend, the whole agency is shutting down so not
only are the families in the midst of adopting from Ethiopia but also from
China, Thailand, Burkina Faso and maybe other places and they are all dealing
with the same news, they are losing money and having to figure out how to
complete their adoptions, many with children already referred to them and almost
ready to come home…Please keep these families in your prayers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are in a sense, one of the “lucky” ones in
the fact we are “only” losing $5,500 and we haven’t seen our child’s face, we aren’t
getting ready to bring her home next month, but any way you cut it, it still
hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the bright side, our new
agency is doing all they can to help and is going to cut back one of their fees
which we are EVER so grateful!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may
not cover the $5,500 but it is something and more than anything it means a lot
to us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, what does it look like from here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will submit our dossier (once we get it
back) to our new agency, we are updating some papers to reflect the new agency
and once they have all of our paperwork and fees we will be a waiting family
again! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want you all to know that every
penny that we have fundraised, we still have or has been paid to have our
initial home study done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to be
transparent here because we have fundraised and have some more fundraisers
coming up and so many of you have helped us get this far so I want to make sure
you all know where that money is going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
of Saturday night we were funded until the time of a referral but due to the
recent closure of our agency and loss of money paid, we now have the money to
complete the homestudy updates and cover some of the beginning fees with our
new agency but we are $4,900 away from being where we were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once we have $4,900 saved/raised we will be
funded until we receive a referral for our daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At that point we will have our next set of
fees and then travel but that will be a little while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Thank you for reading through all of this, I feel like we
have had to be so vague to everyone and you all have been so supportive of us,
I want you all to know exactly what is going on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today while I was having everything swirl
around in my head one of my new favorite songs came on and I heard the words
more clearly than ever before, these words spoke to me and pretty much wrap up
my feelings of peace with all that is going on:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Who brings our chaos back into order<br />
Who makes the orphan a son and daughter<br />
</strong>The King of Glory, the King of Glory<br />
Who rules the nations with truth and justice<br />
Shines like the sun in all of its brilliance<br />
The King of Glory, the King above all kings</span></span></span></div>
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The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-43179275040429168702014-02-25T22:06:00.002-06:002014-02-25T22:06:28.287-06:00Silent Auction for our Girl, come and shop March 1st!We are pretty excited about our next fundraiser! It's an online silent auction that will open on March 1st and will go until March 7th. There will be a picture of each item and to make a bid you just comment under the picture with the amount you are bidding, highest bidder at the end of the auction (10pm CST) on March 7th, WINS!!!<br />
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There is some pretty cool stuff on there already but we are still taking donations and would love to showcase anything you may have made or want to donate. All I need is a picture of the item sent ot me by Friday, Feb 28th, just leave me a message on here or find me on FB. <br />
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We have Thirty-One, Mary Kay, jewelry, gifts from other countries and an iPad mini to name a few things. All starting bids are about half the price, or more than half, of the value of the item so there will be good deals and best of all, 100% will go to our adoption.<br />
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Since we have switched to special needs in China we currently have $3,000 to raise to update our home study and get all the needed documents to China to be available for a child who is waiting.<br />
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Here's a sneak peek at a few of the items to bid on.....<br />
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I will post the link to join the group here once it is open, so save your shopping for March 1st and shop for a cause :)</div>
<span id="goog_27678122"></span><span id="goog_27678123"><br /></span>The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-71380603871775616212014-02-13T22:33:00.000-06:002014-02-13T22:33:27.052-06:00His Plans Are Not Our Own.<div style="text-align: center;">
Well we have some pretty BIG NEWS to share and it is bittersweet for all of us but we are excited for this new journey and have to keep remembering that God creates amazing stories when you listen and open your heart to His direction.</div>
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So I'll just spill it and then give you the back story later because it really is quite an emotional and "only God" type of story and I know there will be a lot of questions so I'm hoping to explain them here.</div>
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<strong><span style="color: orange;">WE'RE ADOPTING FROM CHINA!!!!!</span></strong></div>
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As I type this I have to admit my heart is excited, nervous and broken. Anyone that knows me knows how close Ethiopia and Africa are to my heart. This has been this way for a long time but then when you have a child from another country, that country becomes even more part of your heart and your life. Our son's father lives in Ethiopia, he has family there, he has friends there, his culture is there and we all can't wait to return to his homeland for a visit and to reunite with so many we miss. We WILL still go back to Ethiopia, that is a promise, it might not be as soon as we expected but we will return but for now we are seeing that God has another place for us in the adoption world. </div>
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First, I know many of you may want to know: How does Fetinet feel about the change from Ethiopia to China?</div>
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This was a big part of our decision, we couldn't even really entertain the idea until we talked to him and to be honest I was nervous to start that conversation but to my surprise after explaining why, he understood and although he is excited to return to Ethiopia he also understands what is going on there and that there are kids all over that need moms and dads and so in his words "Sure, let's go to China!" Jalen on the other hand was a little more upset, in his words "my sister is supposed to have brown skin like my brother (pouty, sad face)" I pulled up pictures of children in China so he could see what his future sister may look like and we had a talk about the needs there and of course like anything with Jalen, all was fine in a couple minutes.</div>
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So although there are so many details to how we came to this change and I can't wait to share those, I will leave that for another post. I want to answer the majority of the questions I think most will have, so here it goes.</div>
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<strong>Did Ethiopia shut down adoptions?</strong> No they didn't. There was talk about it and they definitely have slowed WAY down due to some changes in government decisions but there are still families waiting and brining kids home. Every agency is different and has a different amount of "waiting children", families waiting and orphanages they work with. I assure you, we didn't switch to China because we didn't want to wait. There is a lot to the story but basically God showed us some doors were closing and others were opening at the same time and we followed.</div>
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<strong>Are you still adopting a girl and what age?</strong> Yes, our parameters for a girl under 5 years old are still there. Since Jalen is so excited to be a big brother finally, we are respecting his wishes on this BUT something is changing......we will be adopting a "special needs child" but in the category of a minor correctable special need (ex: cleft lip and/or palate). In the adoption world you are given a long list of "special needs" checkboxes ranging from vision or hearing problems to cerebral palsy to physical irregularities to well, everything. It is the HARDEST part of the process for me, having to look down a list and choose what I could accept or handle. There are a lot of emotions when doing this from thinking as a physical therapist who has worked with all ranges of special needs children, I can handle it all to realizing, as a physical therapist I have a lot of student loans, I have to work full time, Jason has to work full time and how we just may not be the best family for many of those checkboxes. BUT there are many on there that we have checked and many that we have recently had our eyes opened to and hearts softened for. China is a special needs only adoption country unless you are adopting older than 8 or 9 years and thus long story short again, God has broken our hearts and opened the right doors and we are following. </div>
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<strong>How long will it take? How many trips? Who all will go?</strong> There's no guarantee on time as with any country or agency but once our dossier is submitted to China we can expect possibly 8-12 months before referral, although again it could be shorter too. China is a 1 trip process and although only 1 parent has to go we will be trying our hardest to find a way to get us all there. The boys are such a HUGE part of this adoption, they are excited about it, they pray about it, they plan out what life will be like once their sister is here and they really want to go. Side note, if you ask Jalen, he will tell you his sister is 4, named Ellapi and will go to his school and he will be helping her at school :) </div>
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<strong>Where are we at and what's the next step?</strong> Because China is part of the <a href="http://adoption.about.com/od/international/f/whathague.htm" target="_blank">Hague Convention</a> we will have to resubmit our USCIS info and this time will be working on an I-800A instead of an I-600A, this little change in form numbers equates to a $720 fee (boo) but our fingerprints are still valid until Feb 2015 so we don't have to make another OKC trip for fingerprints at least (yay). Also because of the Hague convention, our home study will be updated through our same social worker but through an agency that is Hague accredited. There will be some fees associated with this as well but we'll figure it all out. So we will be getting our home study updated, working on China dossier and once submitted we will be a waiting family again. </div>
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So we are asking for prayers to continue in this new journey as much will be new to us and as we still overcome the "loss" of what we planned. Do I think we heard God wrong when we started the process to adopt from Ethiopia again? NOPE not at all...we have seen so many times how God takes people down roads first because he knows that's how to get their attention. I can promise you if earlier this year I was being told "adopt from China" I wouldn't have listened, maybe because I'm stubborn, likely because I wouldn't understand. In the last few months being in the process to adopt from Ethiopia has led me to so many stories and people and ultimately has opened my heart and mind to be able to say with confidence "this is where we are supposed to be".</div>
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The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-44651531095443628322014-01-13T22:03:00.000-06:002014-01-14T18:04:48.412-06:00Dossier is DONE!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well after months of gathering the documents (and having to have some re-done), our dossier is complete! It was mailed out today ad should arrive at our agency by Friday! This is very exciting although we still have one more small step before it can go any further...what is that one small step you ask?</div>
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<strong><span style="color: magenta;">Oh just come up with about $2,900</span></strong><br />
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This is a lot but when I look at the fact that in October that number was $5,500, it makes me feel a little bit better. One way we have been able to raise money is through Ordinary Hero by tax-deductible donations made at <a href="http://grouprev.com/expectingfromethiopia">http://grouprev.com/expectingfromethiopia</a><br />
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and only until FEBRUARY 1st, 2014 we can receive 40% of all sales made under our family name at the awesome Ordinary Hero store <a href="http://www.ordinaryherostore.org/">http://www.ordinaryherostore.org/</a> </div>
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(just click on "oneal,joely" under affiliate)</div>
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<strong><span style="color: cyan;">Once we are fully funded for this step then ...</span></strong></div>
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-Once all documents are returned to our agency they will be put into a final format and sent to the Ethiopian staff with our agency, at this point we can be officially able to be given a referral of a child (or children) in need of a family.</div>
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As I type this my heart is excited for that day to come and at the same time sad and broken because it also means there is a child or children out there that don't know the love of a family to call their own and to be honest, as excited as we will be, they will be scared. I wished we could skip those steps and fast forward till the time where they can know they are safe and loved and in their forever family but the reality is we can't and those grieving steps are important for them, it's just such a mix of emotions when you're dealing with the course of a child's life.</div>
<br />The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-62641231201191044192013-12-29T23:11:00.004-06:002013-12-29T23:12:33.088-06:00PRAY for Ethiopia!!!!<div id="yui_3_13_0_ym1_1_1388376518853_2509">
Dec 26th started the process of my heart breaking for the children of Ethiopia and each day since it is becoming more real that what I thought was a rumor story, may be a reality. If you haven't heard, this heart breaking news is that there are a lot of important people in Ethiopia wanting to close doors on international adoption. The final step, from what I have heard, is the prime minister will have to agree in order for this to occur. Yes, this is a punch in the gut for our family who is in the process of adopting and although I haven't seen her face, I know our daughter is in Ethiopia, I just do and so do our boys! We haven't seen our daughter's face and if we had this would be a whole new level of heart breaking but there ARE families who have seen their child's face and have even met them but because of where they are in the paperwork process, their children could become stuck without a family and grow up in an orphanage in Ethiopia...Please PLEASE pray for this country, for the Prime Minister of Ethiopia, for these families, and most importantly for the children!!!! </div>
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I am writing letters, sending FB messages, posting pictures and doing anything I can to help show the government how children can thrive, be happy and have success stories when being adopted internationally and I am asking you to do the same if you can. You can email <a href="mailto:pasaddis@state.gov">pasaddis@state.gov</a> your success story, as well as can contact local and state representatives.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: orange;">Here's the letter I emailed to the Ethiopian embassy tonight:</span></strong><br />
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<span style="color: white;">To Whom It May Concern in Regards to International Adoptions in Ethiopia:</span><br />
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<span style="color: white;">My name is Joely O'Neal and I am married with 2 children, our 5 year old biological son and our 8 year old adopted Ethiopian son. Our family has a heart for children who are growing up without mothers and fathers and feel that God has called us to take action and be a family to children who are without. We do not adopt because we can't have kids on our own, we do not adopt to fulfill something we need but we adopt because we have been blessed by growing up in a family and want the same for all the children in this world. My heart aches for children who don't know the true love of a mother or father, the children who are starving, in pain, sad and are growing up with a life no one would ever want for their own child. I would hope that if something happened to myself, my husband or our family and we couldn't care for our child, that someone else would step up and take care of them the way we would, so why wouldn't I do the same for someone else? I didn't know my older son's biological family before I met him but I knew he was given up out of love to be cared for as he was sick and malnourished. I knew God called us to be the family to him that his biological father wanted. We were blessed to be able to meet our son's father while in-country for court and were able to (via translator) speak to him, show him pictures and ask him questions so he would know where his son would be and know more about who his son's new family was. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">We have been beyond blessed that God brought a (then) 7 year old boy into our life. A child who had been waiting in the orphanages in southern Ethiopia and then in Addis for 2 years. This boy was shy, malnouris<span class="text_exposed_show" id="yui_3_13_0_ym1_1_1388376518853_2490">hed, embarrassed and in pain due to his teeth, had difficulty communicating since he had to learn a new language when moving to Addis, was not doing well in school and didn't show affection towards anyone. Today, almost 18 months later, our now 8 year old son is out-going, has a lot of friends, loves playing on his soccer team, is healthy and has gained 20 pounds and grown 5 inches, has a mouth full of healthy, pain-free teeth, talks non-stop, says please and thank you and knows right from wrong, is a rule-abider, giggles when he gets hugged and now hugs back. He also is very intelligent and has a heart for other orphaned children and is excited to have a sister from Ethiopia someday as well as is excited to go back to Ethiopia with us to visit his biological family and bring gifts to children who are there living without moms and dads. We attend church regularly and he has grown to know who Jesus is and has accepted him as his savior earlier this year. We celebrate our son's biological father on father's day, his late mother on mother's day and we talk about his siblings often. We look at pictures from Ethiopia, watch videos we took while there and he shares memories he has from his childhood. We celebrate Genna and cook Ethiopian foods for him. We meet up with many of his friends from Ethiopia quite often and he knows we love Ethiopia and want him to always know where he came from. Our younger, biological son, loves his big brother and anticipates a younger sister from Ethiopia and cannot wait to travel there to meet her and see where his big brother came from. We are a blessed family and we have more room in our home and more love in our hearts to give and are praying that Ethiopia will allow us to once again give a child or children a forever family, hope, love and a life that embraces their country and it's culture.</span></span><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" id="yui_3_13_0_ym1_1_1388376518853_2756" style="color: white;">We understand that not every adoption story turns out the way ours has and our family is not perfect, like any new situation there was adjustments, ups and downs and mixed emotions but was it worth it all? Absolutely! We also know that it is everyone's responsibility to make sure practices are done ethically and in the best interest of the children and we are thankful for any laws to occur to protect these children as much as possible. With that said we are praying that it is known that completely shutting down the ability to allow international adoptions to occur, decreases the number of chances some of these children will ever have to survive an illness they have, to have a mom and dad and to grow up knowing the love of a family and thrive in this world. It is my goal to raise my children to grow up loving Jesus and become loving individuals who live to bless others and be world changers. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" id="yui_3_13_0_ym1_1_1388376518853_2911" style="color: white;">In closing, please know we are praying for these decisions, praying for the children who are waiting and have been waiting, praying for the children who need medicine that may not be available there, medical treatment that may not be available there right now, praying for the people who have had to relinquish their children out of love who are praying for a family to come in and care for their child when they couldn't and of course we always are praying for these situations to not even exist, for food and clean water to be abundant, for shelter and clothing to be available and for all children to feel loved. We (as Americans) know and appreciate that we are plan C...we are here to help and to be a family to children in need but we are thankful for processes to be in place to make sure these children can't be cared for by other family members or other Ethiopians before allowing us to be there. </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" id="yui_3_13_0_ym1_1_1388376518853_2925" style="color: white;">With Love and Concern,</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: white;">Joely O'Neal </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" id="yui_3_13_0_ym1_1_1388376518853_2930" style="color: white;">Ada, Oklahoma, USA</span></div>
The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-59007379698886200352013-12-26T21:18:00.000-06:002013-12-26T22:42:31.555-06:00Ready to Submit our Dossier!!!!!<div id="yiv6898256262yui_3_13_0_ym1_1_1387808662777_37255">
We are moving right along in this next adoption (3-4 mths ahead of our last adoption timeline) and are praying daily that God will guide every step and open all the doors needed. With the holidays it seems like the paperwork and <span id="yiv6898256262misspell-0">fund-raising</span> has been put on the back burner although it is on my mind daily and honesty, hourly. We don't know who she is yet or if there are 1 or 2 girls that God has in mind for our family but we are just doing the steps we can do to be available for the child or children that need a home and a family and the rest is in His timing. We have our dossier basically finished with 2 small things left to do and it can be sent off but I guess I have been putting it off because until we have the next fee to submit, there really is no rush on getting it turned in. </div>
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As it stands right now <strong><span style="color: orange;">we need $3,308 more to go before we can submit our dossier</span></strong> and we have 2 great fundraisers going on right now but I have been slacking on getting the word out about them so I guess better late than never :) </div>
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Through an amazing organization called <strong><span style="color: red;">Ordinary Hero</span></strong> (OH), <span id="yiv6898256262misspell-1">people</span> are able to make donations to them on behalf of our family and they are TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!! This will last beyond the end of this year but with J<span id="yiv6898256262misspell-2">an</span> 1st being 6 DAYS AWAY, I wanted to make sure I got it out there in case someone is praying about the perfect place to make their "end of the year" donation. There is a small percentage taken out of the overall donation to go to OH but they do such wonderful things all over the world and need all the help they can get to keep doing what they do. </div>
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<strong><span style="color: orange;">To make a tax deductible donation on behalf of our adoption you can go here: </span></strong><a href="http://grouprev.com/expectingfromethiopia"><strong><span style="color: cyan;">http://grouprev.com/expectingfromethiopia</span></strong></a></div>
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Also through OH, we are an affiliate adopting family which means we can sell their t-shirts, hats, ornaments, travel mugs, etc and get 40% of the proceeds. This also is AMAZING because most organizations and opportunities to sell items only allow for 20% or less so 40% is HUGE! The money gets sent right to our agency every month in our name. Many have asked if we were selling t-shirts soon and have even requested shirts but right now we really have a lot on our plates and instead of making our own shirts again, we are just going to be selling Ordinary Hero's. They really are great quality, cute prints and are good for anyone, adopting or not....do you know anyone you would consider to be a hero to you or someone else? Or anyone making a difference in this world for any reason? If so they make the perfect gifts, teachers, pastors, babysitters, family, friends, or of course other adopting families. </div>
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<strong><span style="color: orange;">To check out the OH store go here:</span> </strong><a href="http://www.ordinaryherostore.org/"><strong><span style="color: cyan;">http://www.ordinaryherostore.org/</span></strong></a> when you check out click on "o'neal, joely" as the affiliate name to make sure it goes to our adoption.</div>
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<strong><span style="color: orange;">Our <span id="yiv6898256262misspell-3">time-frame</span> at this time is looking like this:</span></strong></div>
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May 2013: announced our adoption</div>
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Sept 2013: <span id="yiv6898256262misspell-4">home-study</span> visits completed</div>
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Oct 2013: officially approved to adopt through Adoption Advocates International (<span class="yiv6898256262mark" id="yiv6898256262misspell-5">AAI</span>)</div>
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Nov 2013: <span class="yiv6898256262mark" id="yiv6898256262misspell-6">USCIS</span> fingerprints done</div>
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Nov 2013: <span class="yiv6898256262mark" id="yiv6898256262misspell-7">USCIS</span> approval to adopt a child 0-5 yrs old</div>
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<strong><span style="color: orange;">The Next Steps:</span></strong> Save/raise $3,308 to send our dossier to our agency, then we wait for "the call" saying they have a daughter or daughters for us.</div>
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I'm not gonna lie, I am already anxious for that day, the day we see the face of our daughter! Even just saying those words "our daughter", makes me so anxious in such a wonderful way. Although only God knows how long this wait will be, because our we are able to adopt older and because our agency doesn't have an extreme number of families waiting, likely the wait will not be as long as some experience, 5 families accepted referrals last month alone and 7 families cleared embassy to bring their children home!</div>
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<strong><span style="color: red;">In closing Merry Christmas from our family to yours!</span></strong></div>
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The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-6112546154108906992013-10-08T00:03:00.000-05:002013-10-08T22:54:23.601-05:00We are a WAITING family again!<div style="text-align: center;">
So it has been 5 months since we announced we are adopting again and so much has happened since May! </div>
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We are so excited to say that we are OFFICIALLY a waiting family with <strong>Adoption Advocates International</strong> and we are the<strong> 11th</strong> family in line working on the "paper chase" aka: dossier, to be available to accept a little girl (or girls) into our family.<br />
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Every agency is different in how the timeline works out so for some of you reading this, being 11th in line may seem crazy quick to just be starting out and think that must mean we'll be getting our referral very soon and some of you may think 11th in line equates to a LONG wait and truthfully, both may be right. We are thankful that the agency we are working with believes in matching the child based on best family match but also considering the "order" of families waiting. So we may truly be the 11th family to get a referral or there may be a child who matches our criteria and no one else and we may be next in line. You just never know but we are confident that God knows what our family picture is supposed to look like and in His time we will know as well. <br />
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So since May, we completed applications, had our home study and follow up visit completed and started filling a new large PINK binder with all of the forms and information needed for this adoption. This summer we also were able to complete Fetinet's adoption by finalizing his adoption and getting his US birth certificate so that large binder has been filled to the max and now we can focus on this next one {deep breath....sigh}. <br />
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Our boys are so excited to become big brothers and Jalen has already given his sister a name "Ellapy", knows what she looks like (brown skin, but with yellow hair and green eyes like me apparently) and has bought her a Barbie and made her a pile of things he wants to give her in "her room" which is our spare room/office right now. He prays for her and likes to draw pictures for her and my heart already melts just thinking about the day he and the rest of us get to meet her. <br />
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So now back on the fundraising train (oh man it felt so good to be off of it for the last 15 months) and our first fundraiser is such an AMAZING opportunity! <br />
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<strong>We are running the half marathon in the Chosen Marathon for Adoption in New Braunfels, TX on Oct 26th</strong> and have the chance to raise money for our adoption that is tax deductible to those who donate! <strong>Our next financial hurdle is $5,290 and we are praying in the next 3 weeks we will reach this goal.</strong> We know it is a large amount and we are doing everything we can to make some cut-backs and save but we know even still, we can't do it on our own. <br />
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We are asking for help in partnering with us on this journey, making sure there are 1 or 2 less children in this world who will grow up not knowing what the love of a family is. You can read more about our family and this race here: <a href="http://www.abbafund.org/blog/oneal-family-adoption-2/chosen-marathon-teams/"><strong>O'Neal Family Adoption (part 2)</strong></a><strong>.</strong> Also if you would like to come to the race or run on our team please leave me a message or contact me, we'd love to se you!<br />
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We are so thankful for the support we have from so many friends, family and even strangers and consider ourselves blessed to be able to be an adopting family!The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-56530696876717957262013-05-12T15:40:00.001-05:002013-05-12T15:40:15.274-05:00You Can Call Us Crazy
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh where to begin…well, this last year has been a
whirlwind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We traveled to Africa 2 times
and brought home our son Fetinet, we went from a family of 3 to 4 and all of
our lives were turned upside down and we have all been blessed beyond belief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From our first announcement of our adoption
on Mother’s Day 2010 (</span><a href="http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2010/05/exciting-news.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2010/05/exciting-news.html</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">),
3 years has past and we have met some pretty amazing people along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of which are connected to our adoption
story in one way or another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People we
had never known who donated to our adoption or be-friended us are now some of
our closest friends and some of them we call family. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCO7hypaXMChlTi6fIooiSiZdX6BN8OQGttY2Zbf1yryCjOEcOlMCRkxOQc3lZ2_0Z5xlaJgcdjEhmRfNUsg0KecB3vMXrtFk7DUFj7IGRv3EhkO3jo7XngGtoLxxnXco614_DqJThyphenhyphenIE/s1600/DSC_0212.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCO7hypaXMChlTi6fIooiSiZdX6BN8OQGttY2Zbf1yryCjOEcOlMCRkxOQc3lZ2_0Z5xlaJgcdjEhmRfNUsg0KecB3vMXrtFk7DUFj7IGRv3EhkO3jo7XngGtoLxxnXco614_DqJThyphenhyphenIE/s320/DSC_0212.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We also have a host of new friends that we will forever know
because our children all lived together in Ethiopia and have a very special
bond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As parents to these children we
have bonded and have been a huge support system for each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can literally almost link each and every
one of us by who called who crying when they first brought their child home and
realized the reality of what our new life was, and it wasn’t the happiest of
tears either<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now we can all look back and smile and
laugh about what those first days, weeks, months were like and give wisdom to
the newer moms entering the crazy world of adoption (specifically older child
Ethiopian adoption).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our outlook on life and what our priorities are has been
forever changed and through that we have surrendered some things we used to
have as priority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have seen the need
that exists and the devastation that lies in a country far from us and have
realized how blessed we are here in America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even in the times of being paycheck to paycheck and thinking our lives
are stressed beyond belief, we will forever have images imprinted in our head
of what it is to be truly hungry, lonely, without shoes or proper clothes and
how much just a little bit can change a life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What we spend on a drive thru meal is what someone else makes in a day
or even 1 week’s, worth of work!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Something else we have realized is that, 1.) there are just
too many boys in our family right now and 2.) that we have an extra bedroom in
our house that only gets used when we have guests in from out of town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bedroom that could be filled with another
set of little feet or maybe a couple little sets of feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And although in our culture to have 3-4 kids
in 2 rooms may be seen as not ideal, it is pretty darn ideal in most others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sooo, what we are saying is we have another
announcement, exactly 3 years later with the same news….WE ARE ADOPTING
(again)!!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before you hear it from our
boys we figured we needed to get the news out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are very excited and ask us quite often about their “sister” (and
have requested that she be a “little” sister so they can both be big brothers),
when will she be here, how old will she be, when will we go back to Ethiopia,
etc. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately we can’t answer any
of these questions just yet and anticipate that it will be another 2 years
before we can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can tell you that we
did have to check some boxes on our application and they were: </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">girl, </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">ages 0-5 yrs old, </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">single child, twins
or siblings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may think we’re crazy and yes we probably are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Didn’t we just finish the long waits, the
emotions, the saving/fundraising/applying for grants, etc?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wasn’t that stressful enough?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aren’t we still adjusting to a life with a
child only home for 10 mths?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Didn’t we
complete our act of doing something good and adopting one child?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes that latter sounds pretty unreal to think
but I’ve heard it before and I know many do think that way, seriously they
do!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But yes, adoption is not for the
weak at heart or mind, it is a crazy rollercoaster and full of unknowns and so
I guess you can only call us crazy for the fact that we are ready to do it
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So with this I have a big favor to ask of anyone reading
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will you pray for us?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pray that we are listening and following what
God is leading us to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pray that we
have peace in the details of it all and can remember that His plan is not our
plan and that His plan is always better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-34524538485899745422013-02-27T23:04:00.002-06:002013-02-27T23:04:55.252-06:00One Year Ago TodayI cannot even express how much our lives have changed in exactly 1 year. Exactly 1 year ago I sat here in bed typing up our announcement with a heavy and emotional heart. Our announcement that there was a boy in Ethiopia who we had chosen as our son! You can read this announcement here: <a href="http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2012/02/its-boy.html">http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/2012/02/its-boy.html</a><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbBAW0joar6WDWCGO6ZXLVSXIZx-W7Fy99EbwdtexPvQaB4PbI8bOvjDYKhJdt632ze-Tk540JUFvgmCPDaX_ZqTrO0-YEJmXx-d02FrQOtQounUZJIco5XurqBwvBgh99mprV8-d6qk0/s1600/January+2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbBAW0joar6WDWCGO6ZXLVSXIZx-W7Fy99EbwdtexPvQaB4PbI8bOvjDYKhJdt632ze-Tk540JUFvgmCPDaX_ZqTrO0-YEJmXx-d02FrQOtQounUZJIco5XurqBwvBgh99mprV8-d6qk0/s320/January+2012.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the first picture of our Fetinet</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Although I say we "chose" him, we know God had him handpicked for us. There were 3 children on the list, 1 girl who was already matched with a family and 2 boys around the same age and through a chain of events and a story behind it all it was to be that our child was the 2nd one on the list, the 6-8 yr old boy who we could only see half of his face because he had most of it covered by his hand. The first pictures we really got to see of our son melted our hearts and I carried them around everywhere, praying for him, us, the adoption process, everything!<br />
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We knew there were so many steps from there on out, so much more money to be raised, paperwork to be done, planning to do, a room to be re-done, craziness all around but we were ready and had no idea what was to come...only weeks later we had a court date and on April 18th he was legally our son. July 1st he came home for good and we endured a lot of ups and downs in those first few months. All of a sudden we woke up one day and our shy, non-English speaking, non-affectionate, little boy was talking our ears off, singing, dancing, reading, hugging and kissing us and we finally felt established as a family of 4. I can't even begin to describe how much this boy's life has changed as well as ours, I could write a book about each day he has been home with us, each trial and tribulation and each accomplishment and celebration. Going from parenting your biological son of 3.5 years to parenting your new son who has been on this Earth for 7 .5 years and in your home for a matter of days is VERY different! Not only did we go from parenting a toddler to a school aged child, but parenting a child who had been through and seen more than most adults have, a child who had grieved over many losses that most people, let alone children, never have to and parenting a child from a totally different culture. BUT we did it, we got through it and so did he and I will give God all the glory on that one because I will just say as strong as I am, I have never felt weaker and more scared in my life and I know our boy was probably feeling the exact same way. <br />
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Now not only is today a special day for us, but it just so happened that when we were reading through our documents on Feb 27, 2012, we saw his birth date....February 28th! I remember being sad that my son would be turning another year older tomorrow and I couldn't give him a party, a gift, a hug, or even tell someone to tell him that he had a mommy and daddy who would be coming to get him soon! Now 1 year later, this boy knows he has a mommy, daddy and brother who love him so much and as I tucked this boy into his bed and hugged and kissed him, I got to see his excitement when I told him that when he wakes up tomorrow he would no longer be 7 and would now be 8 years old! He got to have a birthday party last weekend and tomorrow he will get to open a few more gifts and cards and will be taking cake balls to school to share his birthday with his friends. It is just so amazing to think back to just 1 year ago!<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiHGsofTFuMPd0tAbBNAfH0pSqfDiSUSV69xsUrLaWknxxPHSv2LTSId178swvjx-ovaBLq-tLs4JIztCQPYOOACE0Qg1_L1rChaz5kDjAOtrok2TxsTUsySdinL1rtNMo2L-Oxf0m10A/s1600/DSC_0172.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiHGsofTFuMPd0tAbBNAfH0pSqfDiSUSV69xsUrLaWknxxPHSv2LTSId178swvjx-ovaBLq-tLs4JIztCQPYOOACE0Qg1_L1rChaz5kDjAOtrok2TxsTUsySdinL1rtNMo2L-Oxf0m10A/s400/DSC_0172.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fetinet celebrating turning 8 at Great Wolf Lodge!!! Happy Birthday big boy!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-51381495020288020672013-01-26T13:21:00.000-06:002013-01-26T13:21:16.912-06:00And The Winners Are.....Thank you to everyone who helped us in raising the funds for the Deason family. Whether you have been praying for them, bought tickets, or helped spread the word, they have been truly blessed by you all! We needed to raise $2,500 for them to get them to Ghana next month to meet their little boy and have their court date and did we do it?????????<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">No, we didn't...we raised $2,720!!!!!</span> God knew the amount this family really needed and that is what was provided because they just had to spend $200 on their visas so they now still have that $2,500 to go towards getting to Ghana!<br />
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You can read all about this sweet family and where they are in their journey at the <a href="http://hisdefender.blogspot.com/2012/12/adoption-update.html"><strong>Deason Family Blog</strong></a><strong>.</strong><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And now for the winners..........</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">all entries were entered into Excel and numbers assigned...there were</span> 346 entries<span style="font-size: small;"> and</span> 13 prizes to be won. </span><span style="font-size: small;">Then all numbers were entered into <strong>Random.org</strong> and going down the list in order we got the winners.....see below each picture to find out who won.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4FLp66n7bfGmUit8fgwj7axahNxZyGGinwl2tOp4MbjX8SHgmTNojhuiPMFs2kOSpGSoykHSWo7LBiDtHNlSFvMPmX2f2fICPTj9sfwNZwfbQdnWsz3Y4m3UXdQqBA4VoDTHUIeLKKU/s1600/random.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4FLp66n7bfGmUit8fgwj7axahNxZyGGinwl2tOp4MbjX8SHgmTNojhuiPMFs2kOSpGSoykHSWo7LBiDtHNlSFvMPmX2f2fICPTj9sfwNZwfbQdnWsz3Y4m3UXdQqBA4VoDTHUIeLKKU/s400/random.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;" unselectable="on">
5th Generation iPod Touch 32 GB in lime green!!!! Given to the fundraiser by a very sweet anonymous donor. ($299 value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Ilena Varner</strong></span></div>
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="308" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/422332_10152420516460650_1152509146_n.jpg" width="320" /><br />
Kindle Fire HD 16 GB ($199 value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Charity Teal</strong></span><br />
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<img class="CSS_LIGHTBOX_SCALED_IMAGE_IMG" closure_uid_3ii93u="41" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS40_kIdLUqBYXq2ugkrmqELvTwtlk1Vy5f_bkCBUh-mZKeTkWpwgvi0oaKh7svDte36WFfnS3UhlKB7tYUd3O3D-Om2N7EBr-zqQr6hhvD9Ry11mqIY3bURhdQsQ48cGFR7W7nLI-dt8/s320/blogger-image--499167845.jpg" width="239" /><br />
2 OKC Thunder vs Dallas Mavericks tickets for Feb. 4th (over $180 Value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>The Denson Family</strong></span><br />
<img alt="" id="productImage" src="http://www.cuisinart.com/share/images/products/full/ice-30bc.jpg" style="display: block;" /><br />
Cuisinart Pure Indulgence™ 2 Qt. Frozen Yogurt-Sorbet & Ice Cream Maker ($90 value). <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Kami Weems</strong></span><br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="400" src="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/541984_10152411219435650_579836755_n.jpg" width="245" /><br />
Thirty-One Making Memories Thermal (14.25"H x 13.75"W x 15<wbr></wbr>"D) Collapsible telescoping handle, wheels for easy transportation in Minty Chip and Jersey Blankey in Oatmeal (60"L x 55"W). ($189 value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Courtney Folsom</strong></span><br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="356" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/408457_10152420516680650_1282429603_n.jpg" width="400" /><br />
Handmade Rag Rug by <a href="http://leannepenny.com/">Leanne</a> to place in front of your kitchen sink and keep your feet very comfy. <strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Kirsten Priest</span></strong><br />
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="228" src="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/p206x206/537791_10152406057595650_295176003_n.jpg" width="320" /><br />
2 kids size large adoption t-shirts ($30 value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Tiffany Anderson</strong></span><br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="319" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/400047_10152406057600650_850217864_n.jpg" width="320" /><br />
Uganda package (1 necklace, 1 scarf and 1 bracelet) ($40 value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Julia Leinen</strong></span><br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="320" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/734272_10152406057630650_1157952538_n.jpg" width="318" /><br />
2, ITWorks Body Wraps ($60 value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Corie Perry</strong></span><br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="300" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/67483_10200564299773234_41608131_n.jpg" width="400" /><br />
Jack Black, 6 grooming essentials/travel dopp kit ($65 value) <strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Shannon Rowe</span></strong><br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="960" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/560805_10200564298293197_93037326_n.jpg" style="height: 521px; width: 391px;" width="720" /><br />
Baby Gift Set, book, burp cloth, bath and body skin care ($78 Value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Mandy Waters</strong></span><br />
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<img id="yui_3_7_2_1_1359225543005_2167" src="http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=2_0_0_1_505600_AOzci2IAAF73UQQingBQvmWhYMg&pid=2&fid=Inbox&inline=1" /><br />
2 handmade scarves ($30 value) <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Ashley Barrett</strong></span><br />
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<img height="300" id="yui_3_7_2_1_1359225543005_2761" src="http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=2_0_0_1_506277_ACXci2IAACZDUQQiyQfnlmZ9Nys&pid=2&fid=Inbox&inline=1" width="400" /><br />
3 handmade necklaces ($60 value) <strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Megan Hackbarth</span></strong><br />
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The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-47052696117922847182013-01-07T22:33:00.003-06:002013-01-26T12:42:26.774-06:00Fundraising for a Friend...let's bring home their boy!Well, it has been a LONG time since I have update this blog and I live in guilt daily about it so I promise to get an update over the past 6 mths on here VERY soon, but....for now I have an even better post because it is one that is to help close friends of ours, get to Ghana to meet their son and get closer to bringing him home. I know when we were adopting, although I was excited about each fundraiser, it was also stressful and humbling because really who wants to constantly do fundraisers for your own benefit? Deep down I knew it wasn't for us but for a child waiting to be in our family but still it didn't make it easier or less stressful. Looking back on how our story unfolded I am thankful for each fundraiser and big or small, God used so many people to eventually add up to over $30,000 and allow our Fetinet to come home. SO, I want to put this one on for our friends who are <strong>very close to needing to book their flights to Ghana and need about $2,500 more to go to get there</strong><br />
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Read all about this sweet family and where they are in their journey at the <a href="http://hisdefender.blogspot.com/2012/12/adoption-update.html"><strong>Deason Family Blog</strong></a><strong>.</strong><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We are doing an online raffle and have a few items so far and are looking for some more. <strong><span style="color: #990000;"> </span><span style="color: yellow;">If you would like to donate something for this, please leave me a message on this post, every little bit helps and will be much appreciated!</span></strong></span><br />
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So here's how it all works....<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">*You can buy raffle tickets for <strong>$10 each</strong> or discounted for multiple tickets:</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">3 tickets = $25</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">6 tickets = $50</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">9 tickets = $75</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;"> 12 tickets = $100</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> ....and so on.....</span></div>
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*We will give each buyer a number for their ticket and at the end we will place all numbers into Random.org to pick the winners. Yes their will be multiple winners because each prize will have its own recipient. </div>
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*Tickets can be purchased through Januray 25th at midnight and the winner will be announced on January 26th</div>
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* If you have purchased at least ONE ticket, you can also get additional tickets by helping us get the word out. You can do this by Facebook, Twitter or post about it on your own blog and then post a message here to let us know that you did and we'll get you your numbers.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Tickets can be purchased via PayPal and you may use the donate button on their family's blog </span><a href="http://hisdefender.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>hisdefender.blogspot.com</strong></span></a><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>.</strong></span> <br />
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and now for the prizes.......<br />
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5th Generation iPod Touch 32 GB in lime green!!!! Given to the fundraiser by a very sweet anonymous donor. ($299 value)</div>
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="308" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/422332_10152420516460650_1152509146_n.jpg" width="320" /><br />
Kindle Fire HD 16 GB ($199 value)<br />
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<img class="CSS_LIGHTBOX_SCALED_IMAGE_IMG" closure_uid_3ii93u="41" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS40_kIdLUqBYXq2ugkrmqELvTwtlk1Vy5f_bkCBUh-mZKeTkWpwgvi0oaKh7svDte36WFfnS3UhlKB7tYUd3O3D-Om2N7EBr-zqQr6hhvD9Ry11mqIY3bURhdQsQ48cGFR7W7nLI-dt8/s320/blogger-image--499167845.jpg" width="239" /><br />
2 OKC Thunder vs Dallas Mavericks tickets for Feb. 4th (over $180 Value)<br />
<img alt="" id="productImage" src="http://www.cuisinart.com/share/images/products/full/ice-30bc.jpg" style="display: block;" /><br />
Cuisinart Pure Indulgence™ 2 Qt. Frozen Yogurt-Sorbet & Ice Cream Maker ($90 value).<br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="400" src="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/541984_10152411219435650_579836755_n.jpg" width="245" /><br />
Thirty-One Making Memories Thermal (14.25"H x 13.75"W x 15<wbr></wbr>"D) Collapsible telescoping handle, wheels for easy transportation in Minty Chip and Jersey Blankey in Oatmeal (60"L x 55"W). ($189 value)<br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="356" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/408457_10152420516680650_1282429603_n.jpg" width="400" /><br />
Handmade Rag Rug by <a href="http://leannepenny.com/">Leanne</a> to place in front of your kitchen sink and keep your feet very comfy.<br />
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="228" src="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/p206x206/537791_10152406057595650_295176003_n.jpg" width="320" /><br />
2 kids size large adoption t-shirts ($30 value)<br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="319" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/400047_10152406057600650_850217864_n.jpg" width="320" /><br />
Uganda package (1 necklace, 1 scarf and 1 bracelet) ($40 value)<br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="320" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/734272_10152406057630650_1157952538_n.jpg" width="318" /><br />
2, ITWorks Body Wraps ($60 value)<br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="300" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/67483_10200564299773234_41608131_n.jpg" width="400" /><br />
Jack Black, 6 grooming essentials/travel dopp kit ($65 value)<br />
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<img alt="" aria-busy="false" aria-describedby="fbPhotosSnowliftCaption" class="spotlight" height="960" src="http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/560805_10200564298293197_93037326_n.jpg" style="height: 521px; width: 391px;" width="720" /><br />
Baby Gift Set, book, burp cloth, bath and body skin care ($78 Value)<br />
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<img id="yui_3_7_2_1_1359225543005_2167" src="http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=2_0_0_1_505600_AOzci2IAAF73UQQingBQvmWhYMg&pid=2&fid=Inbox&inline=1" /><br />
2 handmade scarves ($30 value)<br />
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<img height="300" id="yui_3_7_2_1_1359225543005_2761" src="http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=2_0_0_1_506277_ACXci2IAACZDUQQiyQfnlmZ9Nys&pid=2&fid=Inbox&inline=1" width="400" /><br />
3 handmade necklaces ($60 value)<br />
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The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-48663465228534272332012-08-21T22:35:00.001-05:002012-08-21T23:24:34.298-05:00Praise God, we made it past the 6 week mark!!!Before we brought our son home and all along since we have been home I have heard from so many adopting families, "the first 6 weeks are usually the hardest..." and I will say they were all very much CORRECT! Actually almost to the date, our first 6 weeks were filled with a lot of struggles and learning for all of us but I honestly believe the biggest part was our boy developing trust in us and seeing consistency and permanence in all things around him. I can now say we feel like we have closed the first chapter in our transition time and are into the second, not sure what is to come in the second but so far so good.<br />
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We haven't had a "shut down" in almost 2 weeks and when we did have that last one it only lasted 30 mins (record time for him). Now in the last 2 weeks when we say "no, we don't do that", "yes, you need to eat that", "that isn't nice and you need to say I'm sorry", etc, he might give me a look like he doesn't want to but he does what we say without problem. He has never given us any problems when it comes to showering/bathing, brushing teeth, doing his hair, settling down at night or going to bed and he still isn't....he is almost easier than our Jalen at all of these things! <br />
The BIGGEST thing is that since I have last posted I think I have only used Amharic because I want to because I don't want him to lose the language and because I love it but in conversation with him, he is full English! I can't say he is fluent yet but <u>he ONLY speaks English now</u> (and honestly as much as I love this, it makes me a little sad too and I try daily to get him to speak Amharic which I think he thinks is weird). If you are around him and he isn't jabbering away it is solely because he is shy but he is overcoming this as well. It cracks me up because people that aren't around him all the time will get so excited when they hear him say one word in English but I promise this child understands just about everything you say to him and can (if he wants to) reply back appropriately. He will say "mommy, bike ride after dinner?", "shower then movie, I pick?", "more meat and cheese please" (this is in reference to a turkey and melted cheese on whole wheat tortilla that he loves) and during match game play with his little brother we often hear "daddy/mommy Jalen cheating!"<br />
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Another BIG event is that Fetinet started school last week. Thursday and Friday he went all day and loved it and starting yesterday he went all day and then stayed for the after school program since we both work full time. I was worried that this would be too long, but he loved it and is so excited afterwards. I have seen a big change in him just since starting school and I wonder if it has made something in him realize this is his permanent home. He talks more, he smiles and laughs more, and he has started to give me tight hugs while we're all cuddling on the couch at night. Right now I am laughing out loud as I type this because I am listening to both of my boys in the bathtub playing with foam letters and singing what sounds like the "clean up" song together and laughing hysterically, this is pure joy for my heart! <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhHs4YHKDqchUAAop856Mhu5hJ9GDmIHj-36WenX1aVm8syvzWXndF15ggNKgfVq_01imywAQiQtY1LUuccHI16zZHy1BnTeEM1U_TCEnJmAF_l1CJOpa4V2d9yZT6THf_XPONn-weEwo/s1600/MOMS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhHs4YHKDqchUAAop856Mhu5hJ9GDmIHj-36WenX1aVm8syvzWXndF15ggNKgfVq_01imywAQiQtY1LUuccHI16zZHy1BnTeEM1U_TCEnJmAF_l1CJOpa4V2d9yZT6THf_XPONn-weEwo/s200/MOMS.jpg" width="200" /></a>We live in a smaller town and Fetinet goes to a school that is well known for its academic achievements and is K-12 (I didn't know those still existed until we moved here) but how crazy is it that his teacher is the wife of a local pastor who began a ministry with a mission to change one AIDS orphan (in Malawi, Africa) at a time so that they might grow up to change a village, or a nation. Check out what they do at their website <a href="http://www.malawikids.com/documents/about_us.php">Malawi Orphan Ministries</a> or on their <a href="http://www.facebook.com/Amayi.MOMS#!/Amayi.MOMS">M.O.M.S Facebook Page</a>. We had first grade night yesterday which is so funny to go from having a 3 year old in daycare to having a school-aged child and being in a classroom for a meeting, I felt so old! After the meeting was over I talked with Fetinet's teacher and she said he is doing great, participating and talking to her and doing activities with all the other kids and she said it is very rewarding to see his eyes just taking everything in and learning. I would agree, this child loves to play but I do see a side of him that likes to learn and loves to do something right and be proud of himself to the point that he giggles and gets embarrassed by it. Now let me say tonight was our first night of homework with him, sounding out sight words and reading 2 short sentences in a reader. In his little Ethiopian accent he sounded out: can, cat, bat, at, an, on, back, sack, tap and a couple others. We helped him but most of them if he took his time and looked at the letters he would say "B, buh, buh-aah T, tuh, buh-aah-tuh, bat!" I mean learning how to speak a language is one thing and I can attest learning the amount of Amharic I know wasn't easy but it didn't take long to say something a couple times and have it committed to memory. I still cannot write or read it because they don't use letters that we do, they have their own characters, over 150 of them! To write the word "Ethiopia" in Amharic looks like ኢትዮጵያ. So imagine trying to see our "characters" that look just as crazy and trying to remember what each one sounds like, especially when an Amharic letter that sounds like "je" looks like and English "P" or a letter that sounds like "ha" looks like a "U". All this to say I am one proud mom, he is going to do great!<br />
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Fetinet now rides without training wheels and he rides really well! Every day after school he comes home and rides his bike with his brother and neighborhood kids and he knows where he is allowed to ride and where he has to turn round if it is out of our sight, he minds very well when it comes to that! He rides until he is dripping wet and then will come in and say "mommy, hungry" which he pretty much says all the time because this boy can eat!<br />
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Last update that is very VERY special to me is that as of last night, I got some full, very tight hugs from him on his own doing. We all sit on the couch and let the boys lay down and watch a movie to relax before bed. Last night I had 2 arms wrapped around me tightly with a big squeeze every now and then, this was a first and in my opinion a BIG first for him. Then tonight as I was typing he came over and just sat on my lap and then when he got up and I said "can I have a hug", he gave me a full hug right away with both arms fully wrapped around me just like it was the most normal thing in the world. This may seem so small to some of you and maybe your adopted kids did this day 1 but we are on day 51 and in the past if I asked for a hug and gave him one, I might have gotten a single limp arm kind of reaching around me but usually just both arms hanging down at his sides so this was HUGE! There has honestly been a corner turned in his transition and it is just crazy to think back to 2 weeks ago where we were at and where we are now. I hope this gives anyone struggling with a new transition or getting ready to bring their child home, some hope, insight, and faith that the rough times will become less and the wonderful times will become more and although every child is so different and has had a very different past they do all need time to transition and when you start seeing them act naturally as part of your family it might be the best and most rewarding feeling ever!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZihNWtjvCECKVL9O-Wi-qQ-ETvr0qSNPO6ox6rBBq8E92d7Z6X753ZPBR5a5sGf0sRelMxQTu3DvBhXuEv66-h51IhpLSwvEWTf6Bs4EnyQL9MaW4GBMG2ZbdBwM-yHsEv742eZjf2Hg/s1600/DSC_0092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZihNWtjvCECKVL9O-Wi-qQ-ETvr0qSNPO6ox6rBBq8E92d7Z6X753ZPBR5a5sGf0sRelMxQTu3DvBhXuEv66-h51IhpLSwvEWTf6Bs4EnyQL9MaW4GBMG2ZbdBwM-yHsEv742eZjf2Hg/s320/DSC_0092.JPG" width="320" /></a>I will leave you with something that brought tears to my eyes tonight from my little one. Jalen is our youngest son and our only biological child and he is the most compassionate, sweet, polite, smart, caring and loving 3.5 yr old boy I have ever met (yes I am partial but seriously, he is something special). He thanks us for everything without us asking, "mommy, thank you for making dinner for me", "daddy thank you for letting me ride my bike", "Petinet I love you and missed you at school today" and the list goes on. He loves his "Petinet" and tries to talk like him. That love isn't always reciprocated by "Petinet" though and when Jalen runs up to give him a big bear hug, Fetinet usually just stands there or turns away but Jalen doesn't give up. If Fetinet plays a game with him and plays nicely, it warms Jalen's heart and he gets so excited. If Fetinet gets a question right about something or speaks in good English, Jalen smiles and says "good job Petinet!". Now they do play together at times and Fetinet does seem to like having him as his brother but if I was giving someone so much love and they weren't reciprocating, I'm not sure how much I would be happy about that at Jalen's age. Tonight Jalen ran up to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss and said "mommy I miss you when you were in Africa!" I said "I know baby, I missed you too but do you know why I was in Africa?" then he said it..."Yes, to pick up Petinet, Mommy thank you for bringing my brother home to me". Jason and I both looked at each other just in awe of Jalen. I am SO proud of that little boy and it makes me cry just re-typing this. <br />
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<br />The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-90275301229536431102012-08-09T00:21:00.002-05:002012-08-09T00:21:59.467-05:00How far we've come...and how far we have yet to go<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeujjk9jBGiCJ8HO46E0-yVWW2rgF6GQTQIms2Igaum8DFceHhalMt4IiGineFIxAxXjEbbpXMoiKVCMrpMmqTalKSTimMWdaa_wY4TF2-h-6qswVIYUiHieW-xNowxKtj8HD-DzF9opo/s1600/DSC_0006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeujjk9jBGiCJ8HO46E0-yVWW2rgF6GQTQIms2Igaum8DFceHhalMt4IiGineFIxAxXjEbbpXMoiKVCMrpMmqTalKSTimMWdaa_wY4TF2-h-6qswVIYUiHieW-xNowxKtj8HD-DzF9opo/s320/DSC_0006.JPG" width="213" /></a>I was starting to feel guilty about not updating as regularly as I would like to. I have great intentions to update weekly because at least daily something happens that I think "I need to write about this" and then the short time comes at the end of the day when I'm exhausted and get a second on my laptop to post and it is the last thing on my mind. So here is my attempt to get caught up and share with you updates from the last 2-3 weeks. First off, although we haven't done our real family portraits yet, we needed some to post around the house so with my tripod here is our latest attempts at a family of 4 picture with everyone looking at a flashing camera hoping to smile when the flash went off.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6HmGLNWbGrXquwLO3tfGpadtJHQQmzZZu4EA_EmDZ1C1tZ_PMDxl_yVKI4MsUcRWmZ6XtNZePgOB3nzPxQok_b3oQPCEXty28jeRGpX-UxVLp2AZw4p8e3hxoiG-oukUCLNI9xUHTaKc/s1600/DSC_0001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6HmGLNWbGrXquwLO3tfGpadtJHQQmzZZu4EA_EmDZ1C1tZ_PMDxl_yVKI4MsUcRWmZ6XtNZePgOB3nzPxQok_b3oQPCEXty28jeRGpX-UxVLp2AZw4p8e3hxoiG-oukUCLNI9xUHTaKc/s320/DSC_0001.JPG" width="320" /></a>First I'll start with the negatives and end with the positives...we still have moments of shutting down although they have become fewer and further in between and don't last as long. We still have some times of stubbornness and wanting to be in control and not accepting of what we ask as easily as we might like, of course I know this is also a typical child thing to do so I do not anticipate this ever leaving fully. We also still have moments, although they are quite few now, of asking for something to eat, seeing a picture or the food itself even and then being given it and due to I'm sure some confusion and language barrier it is not what he really wanted and instead of trying to ask for something else, just getting upset and saying "no" with a pushing away motion followed by a mini-shut down until he realizes we are trying to help him figure out what he needs. This actually happened yesterday at a drive through to get ice cream and thankfully my mom (ice cream lover) gave up her flavor ice cream to Jalen and Jalen gave up his vanilla to Fetinet so my mom could eat what Fetinet wanted at first but then didn't...almost had a full shut down but thankfully we had a few flavors on hand to understand what he really wanted. Honestly this may seem funny and not the biggest issue in the world and truthfully it is in retrospect but I will fully admit that sometimes it is overly frustrating. I also often wonder if some of these moments aren't intentional to be difficult or test us, maybe not but as smart as he is getting I do wonder. I am about to share the positives we have had and you will see that although I know Fetinet has a lot of learning, trusting, and fitting into this new crazy culture and family he has been adopted into, he understands a lot more than we think or he lets on.<br />
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So today marks 5.5 weeks we have been home and I have been told my countless adopting families that generally the first 6 weeks are the hardest and I can see that is very true in our case. Now I have also heard the opposite in that a child has been in honeymoon phase for the first couple months home even up to a year or more and then it gets rough so with that said, I'll take the rough times now and get them out of the way if possible :) I have been really reflecting back on Fetinet's first day home and I cannot even begin to explain the changes that have occurred in him from learning what is accepted in our culture to speaking English, to diminished shut-down times, he really is becoming more comfortable with being a part of our family and seems to be happier each week.<br />
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So for the positives we have been witnessing...Other than using a few Amharic words to reiterate what I am saying or asking in English sometimes, I barely have to use them. He understands just about everything we say or ask of him and although his English isn't fluent yet, he speaks English enough to get across what he needs or is trying to say. He will recall things we tell him and ask about them later, for example, last night we told him that my dad "papa" was coming next week and then yesterday during school registration we told him that he is starting school next week and out of the blue today he said "papa come here tomorrow?" I said, "no Papa comes next week", he replied then, "I go school next week? (with a big smile mind you). He loves riding his new bike which still has training wheels but they will be removed tomorrow, loves to play in the water, swim, says please and thank you appropriately and more often now without being prompted to do so. Has certain shows he likes to watch and asks for them by name, knows that we take turns between who picks the movie at night between him and his brother and knows to look on the calendar to see whose turn it is each day, and is working on knowing the days of the week and months and getting the concept of when things happen. He has made a few friends and talks to them, plays with them, laughs with them and gets very excited when he gets to be with them and I am blessed to know such amazing families who have raised their kids to be so nice and patient with him. He has learned more about sharing, taking turns and waiting in line and although I know next week there will be some struggles with starting school I am confident that everything will be just fine. He will learn like the rest of the kids and in some areas he may be a little advanced actually and of course in many he will be delayed but my biggest concern wasn't how he would match up academically but that he wasn't going to be able to communicate or understand what anyone was saying. Now I don't have that concern as much, I think he will do just fine and I anticipate more shut downs, problems and changes but I feel like he is ready for this next chapter of his life in America, starting school and making more friends.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOhma1JbA8HBTpOZAA6Q6aOu_GbIkl13yrHNpO0NhVJPykchtsCjb1T7UPNqS8swTmH0fIuam-lj7m1433rtLGE42lVSI3UDmcfwqFTBUUZ2pAd2vv0NhjW6tKV-F_Go8zaxiFV8JdXdw/s1600/DSC_0017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOhma1JbA8HBTpOZAA6Q6aOu_GbIkl13yrHNpO0NhVJPykchtsCjb1T7UPNqS8swTmH0fIuam-lj7m1433rtLGE42lVSI3UDmcfwqFTBUUZ2pAd2vv0NhjW6tKV-F_Go8zaxiFV8JdXdw/s320/DSC_0017.JPG" width="213" /></a>So all in all our little 7.5 year old Ethiopian son has come a long way in the last 5.5 weeks and we couldn't be any more proud of him. He has also in the past 1-2 weeks, gotten a new haircut and had some extensive dental surgery that has allowed him to enjoy food more and feel more confident about smiling. Now we haven't reached the point of him getting up in the morning and running into our room and giving us a big hug and a kiss in the morning or at night time saying "I love you" and initiating a hug or outward affection. This will take some more time but the things he does now that he didn't dare do the first few weeks makes me really see he is starting to feel like part of our family and I just imagine it will take time to fully build trust in us as his forever family! I continue to thank God daily for breaking our hearts for older adoption, allowing us the privileges to be on this journey and for all the blessings (many in disguise) that we have gained. There are ups and downs in adoption and especially in older adoption but we wouldn't change the course of our lives in the last couple years for anything! <br />
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<br />The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-63247632778314047012012-07-22T00:03:00.003-05:002012-07-22T00:04:44.005-05:00Less Silence HereIn the last week we have had some ups and downs but all in all I have to say the ups are becoming more frequent and the downs, more scarce. When I think back to 3 weeks ago when we were on planes headed home from Ethiopia right about this time I had a 7 year old son who didn't speak one word of English (except "no" which sounded like "nohw"), who was excited, scared, tired and probably so overwhelmed all at once...and so was his mama! <br />
Today I have a 7 year old son who is still learning and has a ways to go but can speak enough English and knows how to communicate with me if I can't figure out what he is saying to pretty much get through the day and night. I have a 7 year old who is speaking more in general and louder, whether it is English or Amharic or maybe even Sidamo for all I know but it is louder than I ever heard this child speak in Ethiopia or here. I have a 7 year old who loves to be active and play and has been making friends and playing with other kids his age like he has known them for years. And the biggest event of all to me is that I have a 7 year old who is starting to show emotions and fit into his role as our child. <br />
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In the beginning there was a lot of silence for so many reasons. Mostly of course because he didn't speak our language or anything like it so how could he be loud when he knew we wouldn't understand, can you imagine moving to a country as a 7 year old where you can't understand anything anyone is saying or communicate your needs? There was also silence because when he was upset, scared, angry, etc he would shut down for hours without a peep or eye contact even, just fully withdrawn. Even his body language and contact with us was "silent". There were no hugs, no initiated contact, loose hand holds, and small words said under his breath while looking away. Now we still have some times (especially mornings) where he is quiet but not silent and he is trying harder and harder to say what he needs in English and you can see it in his eyes now that he genuinely wants to learn the English words and will say "mommy what it's name" as he points to an object. This is so huge to me because in my mind this tells me he is realizing there is a permanence here and going from seemingly disinterested in learning our language to really wanting to it makes me feel like he knows he is going to need this language because he is here to stay!<br />
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I know we have only been home 3 weeks tomorrow and I know we have a ways to go, we are no experts in this by any means...there will be more downs and we will work through them and learn from them. I have said this before but it is my goal to help other families considering adopting older, in the process of and those who are in the same boat as me, just home and trying to figure it all out. I know what a huge relief it is to hear stories that I can relate to and I want to be completely up front with our stories to be an avenue to help others as well.The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-4149650798612649022012-07-12T13:03:00.000-05:002012-07-12T22:02:43.961-05:00Grieving and Learning....Having an Open Mind to a New Life<span class="A10N">I felt compelled to write a little bit about what I have learned about adopted children and their grieving, coping and learning what life is like in a brand new place. In the last week and a half of being home we have all learned and grown so much each day but we have a long way to go and whole lot more to learn. I have spoken with so many other families who have adopted and been there done that. From others in our own agency who have adopted children from the exact place where our son was from, to families who have adopted from other countries as well as those fostering or have adopted domestically, and there is one BIG common denominator....every single child has grieved and coped with the new life in ways that are completely normal and expected. I guess I may be writing this more for people who don't have their children home yet and for those who may be brand new to the adoption world and may read stories from others about their adopted children and think negative or concerning thoughts when in actuality is it 100% normal. The adoption world is small in comparison to the number of children who need a family and it is my goal in life to help make it bigger and more positive. I am hoping to do this partially by telling our story as we go, the good and the bad just like we experience in parenting our biological child.</span><br />
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<span class="A10N">I know in the last 2 years of our adoption journey, we encountered a lot of mixed emotions from people around us and it seems like much of the concerns and negativity comes from a few stories they may have heard or the worst case scenarios they may have heard on the news. RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) seems to be everyone's biggest concern and it is very valid but also is not the diagnosis for every adopted child nor should it be an immediate thought of diagnosing a child who is newly home. We have taken several adoption education courses and some of the things that have really stood out to me in many of them was the fact that children who don't attach to their new families right away is a normal sign as is having grieving methods of shutting down, withdrawing, retreating, anger, rages, etc. In actuality some concerns are for the kids that do attach to their new families quickly because it MAY (not always) be a sign of an attachment problem. If you think about it this makes total sense, why would any child (especially those who are older and have been moved around and never known a true family) attach to a family they just met, or even have been with for weeks or months? Why would they know this was their last stop and forever family and not just assume it is just one more stop along the way? </span><br />
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<span class="A10N">In many cases, children in Ethiopia at least, are taken to an orphanage near their village due to a death of a parent or both parents or an inability for the parent to care for the child amongst many other reasons. That child may stay in that orphanage until they are adopted or they may be moved to another orphanage that may be more capable of handling more children, age ranges, special needs, etc. Then often times if the child is associated with an adoption agency and not just in the city run orphanage, they will be moved to a "transition home" once they are matched with a family. This home may have less kids and more caregivers to help the child become more familiar with a kind of a "home" before they come to their forever family's home. So just imagine being a small child and moving from your village to an orphanage to another home to a transition home and finally to a home in another country with "mommy and daddy". Although we might like to think this child will get it, how can they? I would love to think our son knows he is here for good and we tell him and use lots of ownership talk with him...your brother, your mommy, your bed, your school, your clothes, your seat, our family, etc BUT I can imagine he may not be able to fully comprehend this yet until he actually lives it longer, for now I'm sure his little head must wonder where his next stop will be.</span><br />
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<span class="A10N">I one of our adoption education courses I read this and thought it really painted a good picture of children who have been institutionalized:</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><span class="A10N">In the orphanage setting independence, self-reliance and
self-sufficiency are valued and reinforced. After all, there are not enough
adults available to attend to everyone's needs to tie shoes, button shirts or
kiss boo-boos. Children are praised and pride themselves on their abilities to
attend to many of their own needs. Not showing emotions may be expected.
</span></span><span class="A10N"><span style="color: purple;">Have patience with your child and appreciate that it may
take time for them to consider you as a resource for comfort, soothing,
assistance and nurturance. Don't be so quick to identify it as an "attachment
disorder," consider the origin. Some may require an invitation to seek you out
when distressed. Additionally, for some, the intimacy of a family or demands of
a relationship can be overwhelming. Allow space and distance if your child is
uncomfortable but never stop extending the invitation. <em>(BG Center Online School: Adopting Older Children Internationally)</em></span></span><br />
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<span class="A10N"><span style="color: black;"> I mention grieving earlier and this is something all children will go through whether they are babies or older children and you may not know it or recognize it but it is there. From grieving the loss of their country, culture, friends, caregivers, language, people of the same colored skin, same textured hair, to grieving the loss of the familiar smells, tastes of food, water, juices, sounds, etc. This is very normal and some children handle it differently, some children are excited to see pictures and eat foods from their country when they come home and some can't tolerate it but both responses are 100% normal as well. Just like any child, every child is going to be different so if you hear about a family who adopted a child who attached right away, never withdrew, fit right in with their new family and was just great and then you hear another family that adopted a child who wasn't connected, had fits of rage and tantrums, refused to eat food the family made and things seem to be not so great, just know both scenarios may be normal and don;t judge or look to deep into what that means. Think about your own children or your friend's children, do they act the same? Do they get mad at the same things? Throw the same kinds of tantrums? Adopted children are no different, they have their own personalities and come from their own cultures and the child that seems so abnormal to you may be completely normal in his/her culture. When you travel outside the US, especially to a country like Ethiopia, you see the culture and realize a lot of things they do would be considered wrong, rude or concerning in our country but imagine they come here and see how we act, I'm sure much of what we do would be considered wrong, rude and concerning to them as well.</span></span><br />
<span class="A10N">So for an update on our front. We are doing great, good and bad days but learning and growth with each. Our child has only been home 11 full days so I know he is still grieving and will for a little while but I would say overall when I look at the big picture, he is doing wonderful! He is now communicating with us more in English and although it is baby steps, they are huge steps as he maybe knew 5 words (if that) in English on July 1st and now knows how to say he's hungry, tell us what he wants to eat and drink, go to the bathroom, go swimming, play outside, do school, color, watch a movie or tv and tell us certain shows he wants, hot and cold, big and small, go to bed, take a shower, brush teeth, and I'm sure I'm missing some more. He has also went from being disgusted at cheese, milk, lunch meat and cereal to asking for each by name and having seconds and thirds. He loves taking a shower and brushing his teeth, wearing a new outfit each day and loves tennis shoes. He loves Jalen and gets so excited to go pick him up and out of almost all the words I can write, he recognizes Jalen's name on paper. Of course they have sibling issues like any other, not wanting to share or not agreeing on the same movie but overall they are buddies :) He has also became very ok with our dogs and pets them and asked to hold Laila's leash today while I got the battery in the little kid jeep for him to drive, I heard his sweet Ethiopian accented voice saying "Laila, come here" when she started to walk off. I will leave you with a few pictures from the past couple days here:</span><br />
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<br />The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-14853189100650809262012-07-10T13:35:00.003-05:002012-07-10T13:35:52.374-05:00Ethiopia Trip in PicturesWe have been home for just over 1 week now and we are all learning how to become a family of 4 and show our son what a family is. The first week wasn't easy but with each challenge we seemed to take a step forward and today so far has been the first day that I feel Fetinet has started to feel more comfortable being here. We have have had moments of shutting down over a food placed in front of him to him asking for that food the next day, moments of shutting down over doing school work to enjoying it more and being a little more comfortable with mom giving directions to help, moments of not sharing to willingly giving up a toy to his little brother to play with, and I am learnign more Amharic as he is learning more English. Fetinet understands more than he can speak but his English speaking is coming along and he is starting to use English words or short phrases on his own. It's only week 1 and we have 6 more before school starts so I am anxious to see what I am writing then but I will say we are very blessed to have him here and when we see him smile, laugh and look content here it warms my heart. I'm sure he doesn't fully understand what it is to have a mom, in 7 years he has never had one to himself (nannies at the various orphanages/homes he lived in would be the closest to a mom he has ever known) and hasn't lived with his own family in over 2 years so it will take some time. I know it will also take some time before he knows what love is, knows that we love him and decides if he loves us and we are okay with that. Jalen loves having Fetinet here and gets so excited when he talks to him or gives him something, to Jalen this is Fetinet saying he likes him and Jalen is one happy camper when he thinks his big brother likes him. So week 1 has came with challenges, shutting down moments, frustrations and grieveing but it has all also came with growth and bonding and we are thankful for each moment! So now here are some pictures from my last trip and our airport welcome in Chicago and Oklahoma City!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">dinner with our guest house buddies</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fetinet with his friend Shemelis that will be home in TX soon!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On our drive from Addis to Awassa</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">feeding monkeys in a park in Awassa</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my fellow PT best friend and travel buddy Jen :)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At the Haile Resort in Awassa</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome to Chicago, Fetinet seeing his old buddy from Ethiopia, Asheber</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fetinet meeting Binnie and Papa in Chicago</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our welcome party in OKC</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love the hearts of all these kids </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finally our family of 4 together, lots of tears and hug and kisses!!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fetinet and his old buddy from Ethiopia William (Asfaw)...love how he has seen and will continue to see so many of his old roomates here in America now!</td></tr>
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<br /></div>The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-2727957866786397252012-07-03T13:36:00.000-05:002012-07-03T13:36:14.781-05:00To Ethiopia and Back...Since last post I have traveled to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, had our embassy appointment (which was great), traveled to Awassa, Ethiopia and got the most amazing pictures, had our actual "gotcha day" with our son and traveled home and now are on day 2 of being family of 4! <br />
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I saw a picture recently that said "I didn't say it would be easy, I said it would be worth it" and I would say that phrase is repeating over and over in my head each day. I'm not going to lie and say everything is just great, easy, perfect and just as I imagined because really that is not how adoption works especially when you adopt an older child, and one from another country with a very different culture. Fetinet is doing pretty good overall I would say and truthfully each day is getting better. The biggest problem of course is the language barrier. He really doesn't speak much English at all so just close your eyes and imagine having a 7 year old new in your home who doesn't understand anything you say and in order to communicate with him, you have to open 2-3 books of common words and phrases to search for what you want to say and then hope you said it with the right dilect and then when your child doesn't respond, what do you do next? It is difficult but we are learning together. I try to say what I want in Amharic (which by the way is Fetinet's second language and no where close to his native language, Sidamo) and then repeat it in English and have him repeat it after me <br />
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Me: "Fetinet, de-keh-mek? Are you tired?"<br />
Fetinet: "Ah ay"<br />
Me: "Ah ay? No?"<br />
Fetinet: "No"<br />
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We arrived home on Suday evening after flights were late and delayed, after being rushed through the Frankfurt airport with 10 other people (although given very special treatment by Lufthansa staff) to just barely make it to our flight to Chicago which we found out our bags never made it and then saw my parents and another adopting family who has one of fetinet's friends from his home and rushed off only to find out our flight from Chcago to OK was delayed 3 hrs due to storms in St Louis and Chicago so our welcome party at the OKC airport waited a bit longer than they expected but it was awesome and I am excited to post pictures soon, here is one with a lot of the cutest kids and their signs for Fetinet. <br />
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Yesterday, we kept Jalen home from day care and it was more of a "getting to know everyone, play-day". Jalen keeps telling Fetinet, "Petinet, I glad that you are here" and "I love you Petinet" and then of course Fetinet not understanding won't say anything back so Jalen looks at me very disappointed and says "Mommy, Petinet not talk to me (frown/pout)". I told him that he doesn't know our language yet but I know he is happy to have you too Jalen and then Jalen says very seriously, "I want Petinet to know our language soon mommy"....me too baby doll, me too :)<br />
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Today Fetinet and I took Jalen to daycare and are picking him up right after nap time so he is only there for a half day to still keep someehwta of his schedule. While Jalen is at daycare I will be basically doing home-school with Fetinet. Today was day one and well, it went ok...he didn't like school a whole lot in Ethiopia and I'm not so sure he is a big fan of it here either. We did the alphabet upper and lower case and traced letters which he would do great and then just scribble all over in frustration and laugh so I have been doing a lot of redirecting and explaining the best I can that we need to do this before we can play. He tries to tell me no and turn away but after a little talking he does get back on track and will try for me. We'll do a little each day but we do have a timeline as he will start school in 6 weeks!<br />
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Jason came home for lunch so I could have a little time to get on my computer but if I haven't emailed back or done much lately, just know I am reading your emails, text messages, facebook posts, etc and I appreciate all the support we are getting. Please keep praying for this transition and for our strength and wisdom of how to best parent our 7 yr old, non-english speaking, Ethiopian son. We are so blessed by everyone and son will be on a good schedule and back to some normalcy :)<br />
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I will post more pictures and stories from our trip soon but wanted to just at least actch everyone up on how we are doing now. Thank you for all the support and keep checking back for a lot more amazing pistures and stories from last week in Ethiopia, a beautiful country but I am glad to be home.<br />
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Love and Blessings!The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-66450846155972234112012-06-16T12:08:00.001-05:002012-06-16T12:08:37.106-05:008 Days and We're on Our Way to Bring Our Boy Home Forever!!!<span style="font-size: large;">YES, it is true...our flights are booked and in 8 days I will be leaving for Ethiopia for Embassy and to bring Fetinet Nikao home finally be a family of FOUR!!!!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soon these two boys will be together forever as brothers!!!</td></tr>
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On Thursday we got the email from embassy saying we were CLEARED and we were beyond excited but we didn't think that could be right because they didn't have our updated 171H yet. It wasn't fully right, we soon found out we were cleared still but couldn't book an appointment until they got that form. I called our USCIS officer and let me tell you how amazing this lady has been...getting us a fingerprinting appointment just in time, answering all my questions and putting up with my daily calls, she assured me they will have this form by THIS Monday and as well she emailed info over so they would know it was there. She also made everything very personal and just was a blessing when I didn't expect it from a government official. I then emailed the embassy (yet again) and they got right back to me, assuring me that as long as they had our form by June 22nd, we would be able to have our embassy interview during the last week of June. So with airfare rising and flights getting sold out by the hour (literally) I booked our flights and got a nice surprise in that on the way there and back we have a short layover in Chicago so my parents and anyone else who can make it will get to meet Fetinet briefly and welcome us there :) Also we ended up paying $1,000 less than expected! God has just been doing miracles in our family's case lately and we are beyond grateful...really there are no words for all that has happened in the last couple weeks! God is Good!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, here's where I need your help.......</span><br />
This time around Jason will be staying home with Jalen to work and watch him but it is required through our agency that I have an adult companion to travel with me. My sweet friend and Godmother to Jalen and Fetinet, Jen, is going to be my companion and while she is there she will also be providing physical therapy services to special needs orphaned children. If she couldn't go, Jason would have had to, and we would have been buying another flight so I feel I need to help as much as I can to help her raise the money it is costing for her flight (not to mention she is missing a week of work just for us). She was able to use some frequent flyer miles to get a few of the connecting flights covered but <span style="font-size: large;">she still needs $1,757 to cover the rest of her flights. </span>We have been doing this fundraising thing for a while and I know in the beginning I felt awkward, bad, weird, etc sending out emails and such to help us get the amounts we needed but I learned quickly that in every fundraiser and every donation that came in, God was using special people to make our journey and story just that much more exciting and really more glorifying to Him. I have made life long friends with people I met through fundraising, and in each one, our story was shared, the need for orphan outreach was shared and more families have come to decide to pursue adoption, foster care or just have a different outlook on the needs of these children in general so money aside, so much good has come from it all. Jen is new to this so she is back in that "feeling bad asking for money" stage and I want her to see that people genuinely like to help and if God places it on their hearts to help her, they will and if not, nothing is lost but who knows what will be gained from it??? SO, help me bless her and raise the money to cover her flights as it is a HUGE help to us and I know she will be a HUGE blessing to the children she will be working with while she is there! You can donate via my paypal account, just use the button on the LEFT that says "Help Jen Get To Ethiopia" or contact me <a href="mailto:joelymelissa@yahoo.com">via email here</a> and let me know how you would like to help. Thank you and have a wonderful Father's Day weekend!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jen and I after PT school graduation (2009) and my little nugget Jalen in my arms :)</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<br />The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-32535097658190431912012-06-13T21:33:00.001-05:002012-06-13T21:33:24.362-05:00CRAZY GOOD Day!!!!Well we didn't get the magic email from embassy this morning saying we are cleared to travel but should hear some good news tomorrow. We won't be officially cleared to travel because they don't have our updated 171H yet since we just updated our fingerprints yesterday...BUT we did get some, ummm pretty darn good news from news a few different people. All I can say is there must be a lot of people praying for us and God is listening because so many prayers were answered today and prayers that I haven't even been saying out loud simply because there have been a few other families that need the prayers more than us right now.<br />
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So, before 8am, I went from having an okay, no big deal, regular kind of day at work, but from 8am-10am it all changed and my day went to pretty near PERFECT! I started calling the USCIS adoption line at 8am and was transferred to our officer who was quite possibly the sweetest lady ever! This is actually the same lady who got us our fingerprint appointment when we were told we wouldn't even have our case looked at until July! She immediately knew who I was and said she had my updated 171H sitting on her desk just awaiting the fingerprint updates which would be in today or tomorrow morning. She also told me she could fax me a copy of the updated 171H as soon as she got it complete and I should get it today or tomorrow morning at the latest and then she would be sending it to the embassy in Ethiopia 2 day mail. I had no idea they did that and was already to ask if somehow I could pay for expedited shipping, no need now!<b> So the embassy is closed on Friday so they should have our updated 171H in their hands Monday, Praise God for that HUGE step!</b><br />
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As I am on the phone with our officer I receive an email from our case worker saying that although we didn't hear from embassy, she spoke to the staff in Ethiopia and they said<b> the interview went really well.</b> Honestly I haven't even been worried about that in the least but to hear those words gave me chills and put a pretty big smile on my face. Then she said we will be doing our <b>travel meeting next Mon or Tues </b>and with another family who is on our same timeline right now and of course it is a family Jason and I are friends with here in OK and have known for probably the majority of our adoption journey so it is pretty cool that we are ending this journey together!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ashley and I getting ready to welcome another Dillon/Buckner family home with their son! Soon all 3 of our boys will be home in Oklahoma!</td></tr>
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So all this to say that as soon as the embassy has our 171H form in their hands, they will be able to clear us to pick our travel dates (pending the interview did go well, which I just know it did). At that point, we will pick 3 dates and then they will choose 1 of those 3 for us. My heart and mind is set on picking the dates of June 25, 26 and 27th so <b>I am praying right now we are given clearance ASAP because that would mean that we would be leaving for Ethiopia on June 23rd or 24th....that is NEXT weekend, 10-11 days away!!!</b><br />
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Okay so if that all wasn't enough to call it a blessed day and move on and be ecstatic, with the good news, I then got some news that about made me break down and cry at work (which I try very hard not too because my eyes turn and stay red when I cry and that's not a pretty sight for a patient to see in their physical therapist for the first time meeting). What was this news??? Well we have somewhere between $3,000-$4,000 left to save/raise for this adoption depending on what our flights cost but I have been at peace with the fact that after saving and raising over $31,000 that if we had to take out a loan for the remainder it would be okay. The message I got was from a family who means a lot to us, a family who has been very supportive of us and a family we just love. The message asked how much more we needed because they wanted to cover the balance so we didn't have to worry about it. <b>After over 2 years of saving and thinking up the next fundraiser, I can't even express in words what it feels like to be FULLY funded!!!! </b><br />
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So here we are really just waiting on a few things...embassy's full clearance, our embassy date, our final hours of required adoption education and our flights to be booked and THAT IS IT!!!! Soon, very soon, I will be posting a blog from Ethiopia with my oldest son sitting next to me.<br />
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<br />The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-76156228754579833972012-06-09T14:21:00.001-05:002012-06-09T14:23:12.225-05:00The Winner Is....<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">After 3 weeks, there were 171 tickets purchase by 33 different people, <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">raising </span>$1,710 for our adoption!!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I placed every entry into a List Randomizer on <a href="http://www.random.org/">Random.org</a> and pushed the magic button and...................................................................................</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The grand prize winner of the Kindle Fire is..................</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <b>Danette Gallardo</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The other winners of the other 10 prizes (shown on <a href="http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/p/raffle-fundraiser.html">The Raffle Page</a>) donated by some awesome friends of ours are as follows:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Patty Laramore:</b> One hour session with Courtney Folsom of <a href="http://www.folsomphotography.com/">Folsom Photography </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Lari Hall:</b> A copy of Just Like You children's book (hard cover), autographed by the illustrator <a href="http://hannaheharrison.com/">Hannah Harrison</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Mike McReynolds: </b> Large uni-sex Simply Love t-shirt ($25) and Africa Necklace ($15) donated by Lari Hall</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Carla James:</b> $25.00 Gift Certificate to my friend Kathleen's awesome Etsy page <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/craftycreations2">http://www.etsy.com/shop/craftycreations2</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Kim Hill:</b> An Amazing home-cooked meal by the great Lauri Rowe </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Sandra Thron:</b> <i>Thirty-One</i> gift set: URU thermal ($18), a zip-up pencil pouch
($10) and a mirror compact ($10) donated by Stephanie Coelho,
Independent Director, Thirty-one gifts</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Donna Chancellor:</b> A customized sandblasted rock with your family's name on it donated by Boadie Anderson </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Gary Robinson: </b>$160 worth in trees/plants from a nursery in Ada, OK. These will be delivered to</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> you and include: Shumard Oak, grows to 60 ft, Red-Orange to Orange
fall color, fast grower, full sun; Oklahoma Redbud, grows 30 ft, deep
pink to magenta rose flowers, glossy dark green leaves, full sun;
Knockout Rose, grows 3-4 ft, has double red flower, and is disease
resistant plant, full sun</span><span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1338212832_1" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">; and Bloodgood Japanese Maple</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">, grows 20 ft. purple-red leaves, red fall color, full sun). </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Autumn Deason: </b> A day or evening of babysitting by the amazing Miss Avery Anderson! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Cathy Eaves: </b> One hour tennis lesson from Matt Folsom, <span id="yui_3_2_0_16_1338208358703635">a former collegiate tennis player and coach.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="yui_3_2_0_16_1338208358703635">I will get your information to the donators so they can get your prize to you if I don't already have it. Please let me know if you don't hear form anyone or have any questions.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="yui_3_2_0_16_1338208358703635">Thank you to everyone who donated prizes, spread the word to your friends and family, bought tickets and prayed for this. We were blessed greatly by all of you and can't thank you enough!</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-11382815621749656332012-06-07T22:42:00.000-05:002012-06-07T22:42:10.282-05:00Nearing the End of This Road...Each week that gets closer to us having our son home is almost (ALMOST) bittersweet! I think like everything when you are with something so long and know a certain lifestyle for so long, it becomes sad to kind of have to say good-bye. This may be encouraging for those of you waiting right now, although you are ready for things to move forward and get your referral, meet your child or bring them home, enjoy every minute because soon it will be over and you may not know what to do with your self. I can say I am SO looking forward to having our boy home, as well as being done with crazy paperwork, late nights, fundraising, planning, and worrying and just be a family without feeling like I'm on a timer to have family time and also get adoption work in. <br />
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Because it has been over 2 years since we decided to start this Ethiopian adoption, it is all we know now. We juggle full time jobs, t-ball, softball, church, life group, an orphan ministry, birthday parties, family trips and needed family time with adoption stuff (paperwork, education, fundraising, blogging, emailing, planning, budgeting, post office trips (many of them) and preparing the home for a new child). Anyone that knows us, knows us as the family that is always on the go, always busy and never resting. Although we have become accustom to this lifestyle and I know I may sometimes look back and grieve that we no longer have it, I am VERY much looking forward to JULY! With the exception of some home study updates and little things adoption finalization related, it will be completed, t-ball and softball will also be over and I will be on a leave from work for 4 consecutive weeks and then likely 2 weeks around when school starts. During this time I will be enjoying my family and working with our 7 year old Ethiopian son on learning English, and just bonding with him and allowing him and Jalen to bond as brothers. I will continue to blog because it helps me keep a "journal" and feel accountable knowing someone is reading it...hopefully :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my sweet Jalen at t-ball</td></tr>
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Right now we are looking at being in Ethiopia the last week of June to bring our son home. No definite clearance or embassy appt yet but we do have the final step, the birth parent embassy interview next week and then we will be cleared soon after! <b><span style="font-size: large;">A bit over 2 weeks left (likely) in this journey</span><span style="font-size: large;"> that started over 2 years ago</span></b>. We are wrapping things up now, final education requirements, final funds needed, the final trip planning and preparation and final touches on our home and our son's new bedroom that he will share with his brother Jalen who is beyond excited to get him home!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the boys room, almost complete!</td></tr>
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Thank you for praying for us, please keep praying us out until the end. God has been gracious to us and we have been blessed by Him through so many of you and look forward to seeing how He uses us to bless many many more people! The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-48228518644703691042012-06-03T16:46:00.002-05:002012-06-03T17:04:13.479-05:00My Birthday Wishes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last week was quite eventful and I am praying that this week continues. Tuesday we were submitted to embassy, Wednesday we got an email saying part 1 of the orphan determination was cleared and on to part 2, Thursday we got an email saying part 2 was cleared and they were ready to schedule the birth parent interview! This in the past has taken weeks and it took DAYS! So now we are praying that the interview gets scheduled in the next 2 weeks and we will be right on track to be in Ethiopia again THIS MONTH!<br />
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So tomorrow is my birthday, not a big one, but 1 year after the big
3-0 and although it isn't a "big number birthday" I am praying it is big
in a different way. So my specific birthday wishes are:<br />
1. I get an email stating the birth parent interview has been scheduled and is within the next 1-2 weeks<br />
2. That we receive news about an adoption grant we applied for to help off set some of the rest of the needed funds.<br />
3. And the biggest prayer is that I will be on a plane on June 24th headed to Ethiopia to bring our son home forever!<br />
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In the mean-time this week is also coming with other eventful things that I am very much looking forward to and will help keep my mind from constantly thinking about dates, times, flights, and all that consumes it right now. Tomorrow night my sweet husband set up a dinner with a bunch of friends at our favorite Mexican restaurant in town, Tuesday Jalen has his T-ball team pictures and Jason has a softball game, Thursday both of my boys have games (t-ball and softball) and Saturday our wonderfully supportive, loving, amazing and God given friends are throwing us a shower for Fetinet, what a fun week ahead :)<br />
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In other news....<br />
The <b><a href="http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/p/raffle-fundraiser.html">Raffle Fundraiser</a></b> is still going on and right now our total needed is down to<b> $6,435.</b> You have 6 days left if you want a chance at the Kindle Fire amongst other prizes and the <b>winners will be drawn on Saturday, June 9th!</b><br />
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and check this out....Our of our good friends is also doing a wreath fundraiser for us so if you would like one of her<b> "All Season Shabby Chic Burlap Wreaths"for </b><b> $30 </b>(includes: 1 burlap wreath with 5 seasonal flower pins
for Valentines Day, Spring, Patriotic, Autumn and Christmas. If you would like to purchase one, please contact my sweet friend <a href="mailto:leannerae@gmail.com">Leanne</a>. Leanne is writing a book that you will get to read one day but for now, you can read about her on her awesome blog <a href="http://leannepenny.com/">leannepenny.com</a>.<br />
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</div>The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-46473068290446711652012-05-29T22:03:00.004-05:002012-05-29T22:03:43.729-05:00Submitted to Embassy...wooo hoooo!Well the title pretty much sums it up, YES, we found out at 7:52am today that we were submitted to the U.S Embassy!!!! Now we wait and pray that we are cleared soon and can travel to bring our son home! I cannot believe that I started this blog over 2 years ago and I can vividly recall writing about our first fundraiser, now we are on our LAST fundraiser and soon will be traveling back to Ethiopia to bring our boy home forever. <br />
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There are less than 2 weeks left in our <a href="http://expecting-from-ethiopia.blogspot.com/p/raffle-fundraiser.html">raffle fundraiser</a>. If you want to enter to win a Kindle Fire and help us reach our amount needed to be fully funded, you can purchase tickets here or message me, all the details can be found if you click on the ticket picture to the right. There are ways to get extra entries too :) <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Just updated our fundraising thermometer...only $7,564 more to go.</span>The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345188536810312873.post-19575500872450299832012-05-28T10:00:00.002-05:002012-05-28T10:19:32.337-05:00What's Your Story???Yesterday in church the topic was a continued series on "I Am Less; He is More" and the first point was this:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How do I become less and He become greater? It's not a formula; It's a journey!!!!</span></div>
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<b>"Never make a principle out of your experiences; let God be as original with other people as He was with you" ~Oswald Chambers</b></div>
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After hearing this my mind immediately drifted towards adoption and the journeys each of us go on. Each adoption journey is so unique and we should be so excited about that, so excited to see how God is going to write our stories yet it is so easy to get caught up in how other adoptions are looking and trying to plan our own around others. I'm guilty of it too, thinking back over the last 2 years there were many times when I thought "why did they get a referral before us?", "why are they already fully funded and we are having to do every fundraiser ever imaginable?", "why is everything so easy for them and so hard for us?" and I could go on. You know you have done this too, even if you aren't adopting, you know as a human being, we compare our lives to everyone else all the time...why do they have such a nice house, such well behaved kids, such a great marriage, good health, great jobs, etc.</div>
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WHY do we do this??? Does it get us anywhere? NO. Does it make us feel better? NO. Does it allow us to see what God's plan is for our lives? Nope. Why can't we just be happy for how everything plays out, the good and especially the bad and realize if we don't stop comparing and complaining about why WE don't have this or that and "they" do, we will never see how God is trying to use us. </div>
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I'll be 100% honest here, I still am trying to plan out the rest of this adoption, comparing other families timelines, to try and determine when we will travel next, but I have gotten a lot better since, oh, maybe January of this year...about 1.5 yrs after our adoption started. I started realizing this was OUR unique story and I needed to be content with what God had in store for us and let him "take the wheel" basically and just be patient, listen and follow. I'm not gonna lie and say it has been easy but I have felt a HUGE weight lifted from my back since I came to this realization and magically, as soon as that happened I can say the following happened: we got our referral, we got a crazy quick court date, we had all the funds needed to get to our court date and all given to us within weeks of needing them, we had an amazing time with our son, and now will be bringing him home soon. Yes, many good things happened so of course I would be a "believer" in this so I continue to pray that I always remember this time and that when the down times come, and I know they will, to know that when I trusted and put my story in God's hands, it went the way it was supposed to. Also to know that in the end, this was just "our" story and I need to remember not to prescribe this formula to other adopting families because they will need their own journey just like we did. </div>
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<b>So if you are thinking about adopting, in the process or have already, I would love to hear YOUR STORY.</b> Also if you are in the process or just beginning, write the Oswald Chambers quote down and look at it daily to remind yourself not to hear other family's stories and think that is the formula that you HAVE to follow in order to get further, let God use you uniquely to write your story.</div>The O'Neal Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02123567357692351959noreply@blogger.com3